Potemkin Village

2011-08-22T22:42:00.002+08:00

Samsung Galaxy S II

Guess who has got a new mobile phone?
If you have not already guessed,its ME you pea-brain!Haha.
Yep,its about time I got a new phone and stop using the ancient artefact I have been using for the past 6months.Good news for the museum,they can finally display my phone in their vault.
My plan expired so I re contracted and got myself a Samsung Galaxy s II.It's super sleek,I tell you.I feel so atas using it,haha.But I still need to familiarise myself with all its functions and stuff.It's making me feel like a noob.

I'm the kind of person who cannot fathom how best friends can stay close to each other but not meet up.They can see each other on MSN and not say 'Hi'.They can be feeling down or get reminded of the other party and not drop a text saying 'you suck,just because'.That is my perception of having a best friend and I don't think I can be blamed for it.To me,a best friend is exclusive and special.He/She is the person you connect the most with.You may have other close friends but what your best friend and you share is something only you both can fathom.Its like a secret lingua franca only you both can comprehend.Its this person you text often,try to meet up and have some quality time albeit busy schedules and try to keep things the same even when the entire world is changing.With this person,there is no such thing as boundaries.Too bad if I sound naive or idealistic,that's your problem.This is my definition of a best friend and I'm sticking to it.
And of cos there will be compromises!We'd compromise on where to meet,what to eat and trivial stuff like that,not on major issues like trying to keep secrets or establishing boundaries.

Honestly,planning for a trip can be so exhausting!As much as I want the trip to fall through,its just so hard when not all of us are as committed.Time to have a team talk,don't you think?

2011-08-14T12:40:00.003+08:00

Press Play.

I'm going to take MC tonight.Why?Well...just because.Or maybe cos I've been having a terrible headache and feel nauseated.Or have I?You decide.Life in NS has gotten rather mundane.I mean,its fasting month so our physical activities and such are minimised.And the fact that we are done with all our tests and we're going to pass out in about 3weeks make the act of having regular training...dense.

Won free tickets to Peel Fresh's 25th Birthday Bash at Butter Factory via 987FM.Honestly,it was super boring!The only thing that kept the crowd entertained prolly was the free flow of drinks.The event ended at 930(thankfully) but we were allowed to remain till the club closed but only at Fash which in case you didn't know,has the less popular music choices.Bump's the sex,but we were not allowed to enter.Boo!But it was fun.Like we all know,its not what we do but its who we do it with(don't think naughty please).It was great to spend the night with Emman,Rina,Vase,Tash and his 2 other friends,Gus and Andy.As I type this,I'm wondering what Jerrold is up to cos that lucky ass is in Bali right now!He shold be coming back home in about few hours and I bet he had lots of fun!Argh,I want to travel too!

Met they guys(w/o JM) for dinner at East Coast Park food centre.The food there's really good by the way,and I felt like a glutton chomping down fried rice,roti-john,poh piah,and bbq-ed chicken wings.Food is so so so good,I wonder how people can stick to strict diets and deny themselves of these myriad of flavours!

When you find something good, don't f*ing let go.

When I look myself in the mirror,I don't think I recognise the person staring back at me.I feel so lost.Lost within myself,lost to myself and lost to the external environment.Yes,I've changed,alot, but into who?I don't think its just as simple as identifying if I've changed into a better or a not so better person.Its beyond that.A close friend said how when he met me for the first time about 4 years ago,I was this independent and strong willed person who was not reliant on others for my own happiness.I never believed in certain things and stood my ground.But now,'that person seems dead',he said.I wonder if that had what really happened.Of cos,he had a point but I'm not sure if I've truly lost myself.And I guess I'd never find the answer that easily...or soon.

2011-08-06T10:14:00.003+08:00

Exotic Mints

Are we still friends
when we meet tomorrow?

Will we still be friends,
when we so often
neglect the value of friendship and
take for granted
the ties that we have so painstakingly crafted?

Do we not remember
how we had assumed the roles of architects,
to build bridges and
connect ourselves with others?

Yet we, sometimes, choose
to become the
destroyers of our own bridges.
The irony.
Oh why?

Do we not detest
isolation?
Yet how did we allow the
gradual depreciation of these relations?

Why do we cut the very ropes
that have made us
a part of something
greater than ourselves?

Why have we not tended to older bridges,
ropes from the past?
But instead
left them out to be decomposed
by the agents of time and space?

Are they worth any less than
the ropes we hold in our hands now?
Have we forgotten about those
on the other end of the bridge?

Do we ever remember those bridges?
----------------------------------

Finally a reason for me to actually look forward to National Day,4 days extended weekend!Sometimes SPF can be so predictable.I think they are lazy to actually facilitate book ins and book outs but hey,I'm not complaining.

I've cleared all my tests that would determine if I am trained enough to pass out of BPT as a Police Officer.The last was the law test in which I scored a respectable 79%,thank you very much.And now all that's left for me to do is dream of my 1 week block leave and of cos,the 8th of September.Almost 6 months man,and its coming to an end!
I'm quite sure that my posting will be to become an NPCO,now that I have passed my law test.Its not set in stone but the chances are pretty high.Though another 3more months in HTA is such a turn off,I am to a significant extend mentally prepared to stay in.It wont be all bad,right?We can bring in any food,we have more autonomy,I'll be enjoying a Corporal pay and when I get posted to division,I'd be getting lots of different experiences.Yes,this is how I mind fuck myself...

Things are good,never perfect,but then again they will never be,right?Its easier to be a little light hearted about issues and be honest about them.Saves alot of unnecessary heartache.Its easier to communicate directly as and when something arises and hope for the desired outcome.Easier said than done,but at least I'm trying!

Been having some travel plans in mind and hopefully they will fall through.I'll save them for another post,yea?

2011-07-31T20:06:00.002+08:00

Hmmm,where do I begin?

July has not really been a good month for me.Lots of turbulence and that's seriously an understatement.Emotions were high,animosity was in the air and happiness just seemed so fucking far away. But things are better now and I guess it can stay this way if there's a will to keep it this way.

Syazana's 21st party at MBS was fantastic in its own way.The place was insane,I swear.But what happened during the party was even more insane.I can only recall like 2hours into the night cos I was just high and wasted.I even puked for the first time.And I learnt how alcohol can get you to pour your heart out.I don't know if that was a blessing in disguise but the hangover after definitely was not.Jerrold took care of me though.Awww...well,he's my best friend after all.I know right,what a surprise.Since when was he ever the sober brother?And he gladly filled me in with the missing chunks of my memory.
In short,I got super wasted on lemon vodka,drew shapes on a guy's chest and let him draw shapes on mine,made out with 3 girls,puked 3 times and poured my freaking heart out with no reservations.Nice.Need to say goodbye to alcohol for a while I think.

Its finally the last day of July,which means I've got about a month left till I'm no longer a BPT trainee.That sounds really awesome and I honestly cant wait.We'd not be having a parade but instead we'd be having a ceremony cos it clashes with the fasting month and bullshit like that.So WTF right!I mean POP is something meaningful that every trainee look forward to.It marks the end of your life as a trainee and the hell you've been through,and HTA is taking that away from us?I'm pretty bumped about it actually but the decision's made and there's no point in me even wasting my finger muscles typing this.Aite,I'm getting my block leave from the 26th of August to the 4th of September(yay!) and I'm passing out on the 8th of September.I'll be starting my vocation on the 12th.

Ramadhan starts tomorrow and I doubt if I'm going to be a very good boy cos of it.I mean I'd try to be,but no promises just because.I know I might go to hell for this but it feels like I've already got a place reserved there.But nonetheless,I plan to make the most out of this holy month and be the best Muslim I can be.

Ok,I need to get ready for Book in.Boo!Well another 4 more book ins till POC-oh!

2011-07-08T20:28:00.003+08:00

Something Too Hard To Imagine But Even Harder To Believe.

Everyone's talking about what posting they'd want to get after they post out and stuff since its already the 4th month and we'll be POP-ing in another 8 more book outs!Sounds terrific does it not?Even Siva who entered in May into Army has passed out and here I am still being a trainee in HTA!So back to posting,I honestly do not know what I want.Well no surprise there since I'm such a failure in life and have no goals or ambitions.NPCO sounds cool but there's alot of paper work and the shift work can be crazy.Transcom and PIC sounds interesting too.I think I should talk to my friends who are already in these vocations to see how is it really like.

I came back home yesterday cos SPF granted us leave today(bless their soul but I'm still never going to forgive them for making us shave our heads till now!).It felt great to be home on a Thursday night.And today I decided to spend the morning with one of my most favourite person-my grandpa!We had breakfast at tekka(its been months since I went there!) and later went to Ikea to just look around and get some stuff.Sidetrack-I absolutely love Ikea.They have awesome stuff and there show rooms are amazing.If I get a house of my own,I'd get stuff from Ikea for sure.Ok back to my grandpa.It was so good to finally spend time with him.I use to take things like these for granted.How wrong was I...

Suppose to meet U for a movie but due to unforeseen circumstances we decided to have coffee at Starbucks.It was a nice and chilled meet up.She looked very pretty too.But I don't think anything's going to happen.Oh well...
Been talking/texting V alot recently.We even met for dinner twice.She wants to get back.I don't think its a good idea.I don't know why.No wait,I'm lying.I do know why.I'm afraid she'd be too clingy and be devastated into insanity if things don't work out.

NS is really a good distraction from the things you just don't want to think about.As cowardly as that might sound,sometimes people just need a break.A chance for them to breathe and recover before tackling the issue at hand.I think NS provides me that, be it about my education or family or friends.I don't know if its a good thing but I definitely like the little breather.

Simply put,I'm sexually attracted to you.I'm having feelings for you that I should not be having.I love you,in every sense of the word.In and out,back and front,left and right,up and down.Its not very different from what I've always had for you.Its just that I didn't even know it myself.

Andrea's 21st birthday party tomorrow and I cant wait.I'm feeling so much better now that my fever has subsided.Party animal mode tomorrow night!

2011-06-25T23:25:00.003+08:00

We Only Said Goodbye With Words,I Died A Hundred Times.

Every weekend,I'd feel like I'd want to blog but I'd just be so tired that I'd procrastinate till its no longer the weekend anymore.So this week,I'm back,tired but back nonetheless.

How have I been?Hmmm...when have I been ever completely fine,tell me?Haha.But things are good I guess.NS's bearable.9 more book-outs to POP and I honestly cannot wait.I obviously need to lose more weight and its already going to be the 4th month of BPT.Passed my swimming test last week and all that's left now is law test.Asnah's abit of a bitch really.She needs a good spanking(Ewww!)

Met up with Safwan and Nic for lunch and Green Lantern.The movie's not that bad actually.A little boring at times but the graphics are pretty cool.Plus,Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are a freaking hot pair.Phew,scorching heat!
Cant wait to meet Rina before booking in(again).

Its been like 2 weeks-no meet ups,no texts and just a single phone call.I don't know how to make sense of this,really.I'm not use to this(and I don't want to be).Its killing me inside as I convince myself this is for the best.I take full responsibility for this.Read one of the statuses on facebook which said 'Never give up on something that you cant go a day without thinking about' and my mind immediately conjured up your face.I hated how that was a natural reflex but its still the truth.In a nutshell,what I'm doing is letting you take control of what we share.I just want to be inactive and let you call all the shots.I know it takes 2hands to clap,I'm just letting you hit harder.I'm here yet not here.

Well,it has to get worse before it can get better,right?

2011-06-05T10:52:00.003+08:00

For the 1st time since I enlisted,I felt terrible this week.I felt overwhelmed and started missing my family and friends crazily.I needed to talk to someone so so so badly.Honestly,I hate(ok this is a very strong word.Change it to dislike) my squad mates and their behaviour/outlook/attitude.I only like a handful of them,5 of them to be exact.I don't understand how people can be so self centred,ignorant,intolerant and rude.NS is about acceptance,teamwork and tolerance and all these and more are severely lacking within my squad.And mind you,its already 3 months!I honestly cant wait to POP,hoping that I'd meet better people when I'm posted out.

Its already June.Can you believe that its already mid-year?That was fast,and before we know it,it'd already be the end of 2011.All I do now is live for the weekend.That's what matters to me most.The people I meet,the things I do and the life I have outside of HTA.MY weekdays are nothing but a forced obligation that I must endure.

I'm still keeping alot of things bottled up when it comes to you.I hate it how I cant just talk as freely as before.I don't even know how things will be if I decide to come clean.I don't understand myself when it comes to you and it sucks.so.bad.

2011-05-29T10:07:00.002+08:00

The Birthday Weekend Escapade

This weekend was crazy to say the least.Yet I experienced a sense of joy and serenity that is has been distant since NS started.I kind of feel guilty saying that because I was hardly at home the entire time and I spent the bulk of my time with my friends.But never mind,I'm going to devote an entire weekend just for my family soon.

Friday ended with our surprise advance birthday for his baldy-ness,Emmanuel at Thai Express.It was simply awesome for all 7 of us to gather and have a good time.No doubt it was short and it was just a little birthday dinner,it was beautiful,heartfelt and sincere.Hope you liked the surprise and gifts bitch!
Saturday passed by with Jerrold and I making gifts and preparing food(cos we knew we would have no time to do it later) for Fate and Emman's surprise picnic today.I miss doing stuff with Jerrold.We use to just lay around in his house,cook and watch movies...but,I digress.
Met the boys for supper in lieu of Safwan's 21st Birthday last week.Only Nic's left to enter the realm of adulthood in July.As usual,we had a good time and made grand plans to save up for a trip to either Thailand or Cambodia.Nice.

And here Sunday is,reminding me that I'm now a property of the government and I need to book in back to camp at 8pm.But,not until I'm done with the surprise picnic we've planned for the birthday babies-Emman and Fate.I cant wait,its been so long since I had a proper picnic.
Honestly,the weekend just flew past.Wish sometimes that time would just standstill because some memories are too perfect to let go.

2011-05-16T13:04:00.005+08:00

Ambivalence

Here are some of the overdue pictures from my SuperAwesome 21st Birthday party.
I honestly am the luckiest guy on Earth for having such wonderful friends.

Finally mustered the courage to check my University application status only to find out that SMU has rejected me and the other 2 are still processing my application.I just stared at the screen for a while,re-reading the rejection notice on SMU's page not knowing how to react.I'm not completely sad about it because I never really wanted to go SMU but it still kind of hurts to find out that they rejected me.Make me question my self worth,credibility and the list goes on.

I started contemplating on why I am eager to receive admissions from the local Unis even when my interest clearly does not lie in the courses they offer and then it hit me.I'm doing this for two things.
One,to detach myself from making such a life altering decision as to which degree I want to take up.Getting an acceptance letter would mean that someone in the Education Board thinks I am capable of excelling in the particular course he/she has offered me and this would just leave me with the choices of either rejecting or accepting their offer.That's not too hard as opposed to thinking which course I'm made for,what will my future be like,which course will I like blah blah blah.
Two,to see if the course(s) offered to me by the local Unis will make me reconsider my current plans to be attain a degree in aviation and eventually be a pilot.

I cant help but think how stupidly my mind works with regards to this whole Uni admission crap but it makes sense to me.I may seem grounded,confident and assured but I am not.Just like everybody else, I doubt myself,succumb to pessimism from time to time and seek reassurance.I try to put up a brave front even when I am dying inside.
So now,all I really want,is some form of sign or a light that would at least subtly guide me or hint to me that I have nothing to fear and that I will be fine sooner or later.Something that would ease my mind just a little and turn my 'what ifs' into 'why nots'...

2011-05-14T15:26:00.002+08:00

Falling Into Shadows

How do we come to terms with the memories that wound us?
As much as we do not want to think about them,they find their way back into our minds at the precise moment when we are the most vulnerable,slowly creeping and planting their infectious seeds...
It sucks.Sucks so bad that you get frustrated with yourself for even remembering them and worst,knowing that they will never cease to exist.
Its easy for others to say 'just learn to let it go','move on' and 'just ignore' those negativity, but they would never know how hard it actually is.

Words to me,are one of the most powerful tool.But as time passes by,their power decreases and they need to be uttered again to gain back their original strength.So when you say 'I Love You',repeat it once in a while so the power of those words remain strong and intact.Better still,enhance those words with actions you see fitting.

Quite an eventful day this Saturday has been.Went for a morning jog with Jerrold till Toa Payoh,opened our savings account for our Eurotrip and to top it all off,I passed my Final Theory Test!Hooray.I swear I didn't get the time to study,I only read like the first 5 pages of the book and decided that time was not on my side.So now I'm just relaxing at home while Jerrold's at NTU's tea party.Lucky ass!

I've still got 2 more days at home.Only need to book in back on Tuesday night,so might as well make the most out of it right?

2011-05-01T14:26:00.002+08:00

Myriad

Its been almost 2 weeks since I last posted and I've got quite alot to say,so bare with me.

Time check,7 weeks in HTA.Life as a trainee is pretty much standard.PT,PDT,AREA CLEANING,LAW LESSONS and the cycle continue for the next fucking 4 months!We don't even know if we are POP-ing or POC-ing.Isnt the admin in HTA efficient?
The new batch of OCTs came in from the Army 2 weeks ago.I cant help but feel a little jealous every time I look at them.In the mess,during PT,during range and even during PDT.Its like they have this aura around them,something so prestigious and elegant.I'd be lying if I said I don't aspire to be in OCT,but do you know how fucking hard it is to get in?Last year only 4 from SPF got in,the rest are all imported from Army.So WTF!

I still feel so fucking fat and I cant wait to lose weight and get hot!Damn,I'm so honest today.

Jerrold got accepted into NTU's Multi-Linguistic studies.He's the only one so far who has heard news from local Universities among the 5 of us.I'm really happy for him but at the same time I feel sad/angry/depressed about myself.I honestly feel stupid,like I'm too stupid that non of the Unis want me.I mean I know that I'm not too enthusiastic about local Uni cos I don't know what I want to do but still, it would have been nice to at least be offered a place...
Besides,it would be nice to study at the same school with your best friend.I know,call me naive,idealistic or whatever you want but its still a nice thought.

I turned 21 yesterday and started off May with a loud bang.My birthday party was awesome.All the people I love and care for were there to share the start of another phase of my life.It was just fantastic.Now I'm just going to make myself busy by unwrapping all those gifts haha!

Happy May Everyone.

2011-04-23T00:53:00.002+08:00

"Move Back Sir!"

That's what I shout with the others as I learn the ways of the T-baton/Control device 21 during Police Defensive Tactics lessons.PDT lessons are actually very fun.The instructor is a serious nutcase and he is really very good to us.And I really appreciate that.In HTA where everyone is just waiting to fuck us trainees,its so heart warming to see some superiors actually trying to treat us like human beings.

Time check,6 weeks.I must admit,time flies pretty fast.I can still remember my enlistment day like it was just yesterday but soon I'd be ending my prep course and starting my real BPT.Bring it on I say!

My life has been good so far.Well there's nothing much to screw it up is there?All I've got now is NS and weekends with family and friends.I don't even have time to read magazines,can you believe that?I've got 3 months worth of Menshealth waiting for me to flip its pages and I've got like 5 new novels to start on.

I've been missing you very much but at the same time I keep telling myself not to as well.I feel weak to even admit to myself that I miss you.Maybe I'm scared.Maybe I'm...

2011-04-02T10:24:00.002+08:00

What Do You Think T Stands For?

Its been 3 weeks since I lost my freedom,my long hours of sleep and since I've started serving the nation in SPF.

I've never seen NS as dreadful yet.I mean all these while I've just been thinking and psycho-ing myself to be positive about it-like how I'm going to be so hot,save money for my eurotrip and stuff like that.But sometimes,its not enough.

I hate how everything is so rushed that you cant really give/do your best.We get like 4minutes to have our meals,2minutes to get from Foxtrot Coy to Harmony Hall(its far!) and 3 minutes to run up to our barracks in the 4th floor and change.And I especially hate how our superiors(with the exception of my direct instructor) always drill into our heads that we are 'nothing' and are the 'lowest form of lives' in HTA.Of course I dont really get affected by it cos I know its just reverse psychology or them trying to discipline us or whatever shit,but it can get pretty intense at times,especially those who are a little bit more emotional and take it personally.

The past 3weeks have neither been good nor bad.I've made some new friends and I've lost some weight and I'm bald so and I'm tired so...ya.But the texts from my friends really do keep me going and I cant wait to see them tonight.

And it was so good to meet Syazana and Andrea(though only for a short while) after I booked out yesterday!

2011-03-05T21:07:00.002+08:00

4th Of March Was Indeed TGIF.

So finally the moment to collect my A level results arrived on Friday only for me to realise that all the fear/pessimism/drama was unnecessary.
I PASSED MY A LEVELS!
Ok,I wont say my results are excellent but I think its above average.Plus,I'm so glad Vase,Jerrold,Rina and Andrea made it too.I'm so happy and proud of us.It was seriously a good ending to our phase in MI.

All these courses and Uni application is honestly scary.I have no idea where my interest lies and its hard to not have my close friends to talk about it yet.But I guess its part of growing up.Sometimes you just put yourself first and make your own decisions.

95% of the 2010 MI cohort students are eligible for local Uni!Can you believe that!?Wow!

Aite,now all I'm waiting for is NS.

2011-03-02T21:26:00.002+08:00

PDL.

'Candidates,you may start your test now...'
Fantastic,I passed my Basic Theory Test and I've gotten my Provisional Driving Licence.Do you know what this means?
6 months plus and I'd be getting my Driving Licence!

The most anticipated event of this year is the day after tomorrow.How exciting(not)!I hate how my mind is constantly occupied by the thoughts of my grades.

Today I wish(ed) you were still as readily as available as before.I wish(ed) we could just meet up or slack at your house.

2011-02-27T22:52:00.004+08:00

Trouser Arouser.

This special post is dedicated to all the girls out there who have no idea what it feels like to have a penis.Don't get me wrong,its great to have a banana down there but things can get a little bit tricky sometimes.Girls,this is for you.

First thing in the morning
Sometimes our old fella can take on a life of it's own, often from the moment we wake up. The stiffy we find as we stir from sleep is generally known as a 'morning glory'. It doesn't mean we've been dreaming about sex - it's simply a result of changes in our brain pattern while we're snoring. It can occur several times in the night, in fact. It's just we'll only be aware of the one we wake up with. They're perfectly harmless, however, and will quickly power down without a helping hand from us - that is, if we choose to leave it alone.

On the bus
So there we are, sitting by the window at a red light. There's nothing remotely sexy about our fellow passengers - and the old lady beside us smells of wee and bleach. Which is why we're so freaked out by the hard on currently causing havoc in our pants. What's going on here? Does it mean we're some kind of bus freak? No. It's simply something to do with the throb and hum of the engine - often our dick picks up on physical sensations that we don't consciously notice. So leave it alone, and nobody will pay it any attention so long as we don't make a big song and dance about it.

In the pool
Why oh why does this happen? We don't know, but it can be hugely embarrassing and not easy to cover up, particularly if we've been parading around in skimpy Speedos (although there's a lesson in there somewhere). That's why we need to keep in the water if we want to stay out of trouble with the pool attendant, and aim to occupy our mind with non-sexual thoughts such as knitting, arithmetic and jigsaw puzzles - it'll calm down in no time. Otherwise, burn off the tension by doing some lengths, so to speak - anything but backstroke.

Is that a penis in your pocket?
Yes, it can happen - there's always a chance that our unwanted state of excitement is spotted and suddenly we're left facing questions that are one part amusement and two parts alarm. The key is not to defend our dick, (especially if it hasn't been charged by idle fantasies, but the position in which we've been sitting). Instead, just see it for what it is, a physical stirring that has no bearing on what we're thinking. Chances are the attention we're getting will see our soldier stand down pretty quickly, so there's no need to run for cover or throw ourself onto our front until it goes down - not in a busy street, at least.

2011-02-27T16:44:00.002+08:00

The Only Person Standing In Your Way Is You.

What are the signs of low self-esteem?

* Feeling that you're not good enough - even if you are;
* Decreased confidence;
* Putting yourself down all the time;
* Being too scared to try new things;
* Unsure of your good qualities;
* Making no effort because you expect to mess things up;
* Being timid, not asserting yourself;
* Losing your temper;
* Picking fights;
* Worrying about getting even;
* Blaming others for your problems;
* Constantly bickering about petty issues.

Though not all,I can tick 6 of the above mentioned 'signs'.Does this mean I've got LSE?

I'm honestly afraid of who I am/am becoming.I think I need a new beginning,a fresh start.

I'm fat but I'm craving for durians.

2011-02-26T14:43:00.002+08:00

Savoury Donuts.

Funny how it felt/feels weird between us.I dont know if its just me or if there's actually something wrong.
Its probably just me,I'm crazy remember.

Humaira's status on Facebook today really caught my attention.She posted 'Never forgive if you are not ready to forget' and I hate how much this is so fucking true.Its easy for me to forgive someone but its just so darn hard for me to forget something they have done.I dont know if forgetting and forgiving are mutually exclusive,but it has always been hard to just forget something that has happened.I dont really recall why it happened but I always remember what was exchanged and how I felt.I dont know if its bad(I think it is) but its just me...
But trust me,I'm trying to change.

I've come to realise that not all of your friends will be as committed as you are or share the same sentiment.For instance,even though I've had a crazyass super tired day and my friend(s) wanted to meet me for dinner,I'd 99.9% meet him/her/them.But it might not be the same for others.I guess its only natural for people to be like this cos everyone's not the same but I thought at least when it comes to closer friends things might be different but its not.

Jerrold is still alive after his 2 weeks Army confinement when we met him for dinner and shisha yesterday.He has a sexy tan going on and he doesnt look as bad as when he first shaved off all his hair.Even Ms A agrees with that when we met her for breakfast just now.The topic of A levels was inevitable though we tried our best to keep clear of it.Jerrold is going back to Tekong in like about 3 hours.Quiet bummed that I couldnt send him off but well...shit happens.

2011-02-22T21:03:00.003+08:00

Lucentis Is An 'Off-Label' Drug.

Visit to TTS hospital today for my grandfather's post cataract surgery revealed something I didn't know about him.He smoked!I know right,how can I not know this?I never thought my grandfather was that kind.He said he did it a long time ago like when he was in his 30s and he was not a chain smoker.Well,the past always comes back to haunt us because his right eye has this scar called age related mascular degeneration and its caused by his brief fling with cigarettes.And now his left eye has it too but its not worst as his right eye and he need to get some medication done.Scary how our body reacts to all that we have done in our youth when we age...

I saw this video on FB about child prostitution and it really got me thinking.Why would people do such cruel things to young girls?How could family members sell their daughters?How could women help traffic young girls?How could men have sex with these innocent souls?You know,its things like these that makes me ashamed to be a man.I know we are (fucking) horny and we think about sex all the time but how can we even allow ourselves to have perverse thoughts of young girls who are like 3years old?That's disgusting and appalling!And even if a man goes to a prostitute(who is of age!),why does he have to hit her,burn her or rub chilli powder on her vagina(true story!)?! And the sad reality is,we live amongst these men.They are fathers,uncles,brothers and cousins.I'm so glad that there are many individuals out there fighting against sex slavery.I may not be able to do anything but share this online at the present moment,but I will help out as soon as I can.

On a brighter note,Jerrold's confinement ends on Thursday and it'd be nice to see him.We've only talked for like 4mins for the entire 2weeks he's been absent.

4th of March is next week.How depressing.

2011-02-18T19:30:00.002+08:00

Dont Sacrifice Your Dreams Just Because Others Lack Vision.

I hate it when people doubt me consistently.Like I already know for sure what I'm doing and you keep expressing your doubt(s) and making it sound like I'm reckless/careless,yea well it really gets to me!And the thing is,its just a trivial act such as knowing when to give medicine!You think I don't know the difference between 3 times a day and once per 3hours?Sheesh!
Ok fine,I know you are concern(prolly scared) and just want to make sure that I'm doing the right thing,but when you keep making it sound like I'm not sure of what I'm doing,it just gets to me,ok!

Its not easy being a tuition teacher to your cousin.If its just some random kid,I'm just going to see him twice a week,make sure he understands what I'm teaching and apply it to his school work.But I'm tutoring my cousin,which means I'm practically becoming his 'academic father'.My cousin's not stupid and he's willing to learn but he's just so not bothered!I need to keep breathing down his neck to get him rolling.Can you believe that I went to his house(he stays nearby) everyday this week from 7pm-1030pm?And these were not his tuition slots,I tutor him only during weekends.These were to ensure he does his homework on time,hand them in blah blah blah.And I even volunteered to help his sister with her Primary 2 school work.I don't really mind cos they're family and I'm totally free but its just that it can get tiring when the kid does not work very well with you...

Both the movies Precious and The Last Exorcism were not that impressive.I watched them online since I'm so bloody free and there are NO PRACTICAL LESSON SLOTS AVAILABLE IN THE MONTH OF FEBRUARY!

2011-02-12T23:21:00.003+08:00

Do You Believe In Sin?

I went to watch 'The Rite' today with Safwan and Nic and I must say,its a rather good movie.The ending was kind of expected but what made it nice was its realistic take on demonic possessions and its associated issues.Besides,the movie was inspired by true events.Nice.
Just like the protagonist,I think I'm a 'doubter' when it comes to the supernatural/religion/faith/devil.I mean,I believe there is good and evil and I think its mandatory for all of us to be ethical.I think the bottom line of all faiths is this-be the best you can be but not at the expense of morality.So things like pre-marital sex,homosexuality etc...hmmm I don't really bother about them I guess.Of course,this is purely my personal opinion and it does not reflect that of my parents,family,friends or religion.All debates and rebuttals are welcomed.

2 days since Jerrold entered NS.Hope he's doing fine.

How do I make a 14years old understand the importance of education and talk openly about sex and masturbation?

2011-02-10T20:26:00.004+08:00

Enlistees This Way.

Now that Jerrold's in NS,my life is seriously going to be boring(different).I cant believe he's already in the army.Its so weird to think that he wont be as readily available as before.Plus,for the past 3 years,we've been like in the same boat-our lives were centred around school and we did almost everything together.But now that he's off in some island becoming a soldier and I'd be off soon to become a police just really feels...scary?
This is something I really need to get use to.I guess this is where our fantasy world ends and life as we all didn't know it starts.Its time I start embracing one of my favourite quotes-Separated by distance but never at heart.
Anyway,I cant wait to see how NS transforms Jerrold.I really hope he makes good friends though no one can be as awesome as me(haha) and starts attaining personal growth.
Like Emman said, 'I cant to see what the future holds for the three of us.'

I cant help but feel abit lousy when I find out that others are going to SAF or Commandos or the Naval Diving Unit.I feel like 'Wow,so cool,they get to go there whilst I'm going to Police'.I remember feeling slightly down when I got my NS posting.I know people keep telling me how life in Police is good and relaxed and blah blah blah,but I just don't feel the same.Though part of me is excited and all,the other part feels ostracized.So sad right?But its not like I can do anything about it.All I can do is excel at what I'm at and get the most out of it.

Seems like real life is alot harder than I thought.

2011-02-07T22:44:00.006+08:00

Great Weekend(Again)!

Saturday's party for the 3 January boys-Rizwan.Shahul and Reyhan was truly a success!Everyone(except the bitch aunt)were there and had so much fun.So heartwarming to see family members come together and bond.Its such a rare sight in this face paced society.The food was amazing too.I hope such family events happen more often.We could all use it.

Xin Nian Kuai Le!The bunny year just got a whole lot better with CNY steamboat dinner at Jerrold's lair on Sunday.It was my first ever CNY steamboat dinner(I know right,my life is SAD).And the most greatest thing was,ALL 7 OF US WERE PRESENT!Do you have any idea how hard its been for all of us to congregate after we left school?
Yea,didn't think so.
Anyway,like I said,I was just over the moon that everyone was present and had fun.

I broke Vase's JB alone with a friend virginity,haha!Vase and I had lots of fun in JB,it was just simply awesome.We explored 3 malls-Plaza Pelangi,Tebrau Jusco and City Square and the further we were from the customs,the more excited we got.PP was such a disappointment with the exception of a traditional Malay meal and the heavenly secret recipe.The chocolate strawberry cake was to die for and the tiramisu was above average(actually it tasted more like coffee cake).So avoid PP,its more like a ghost town.Jusco was fantastic.That's where Vase spent the most.The shops there are really good too.I've been there before but this time it just felt different,maybe cos I was with Vase.We had dinner at City Square's Nandos.And guess how much our entire meal(2 sets of 1/2 chicken with 2 sides,1 litre citrus drink and 2 Portuguese tarts) cost.... just SGD34!I know right,it was amazing!And you know how Vase and I love food so much...
Thanks Vase for trusting me with your life and being such a great sport to go on this little 'adventure' with me!

It sucks when 'the whole point' of something is dependent on a single person and when that person is absent,the entire thing is cancelled.Makes me feel like I'm second class and that I dont matter.I mean,HELLO I'M INVOLVED IN THIS TOO.I MIGHT WANT TO STILL GO AHEAD WITH THE PLAN.Tsk.
While you're all upset and bothered about that single person who cant/dont want to make it,can you stop to think that someone else might still want to make it and be there,someone else might still want to spend time with you,someone else might feel 'left out',someone else might...?
And you!Can you not be like this?Can you think about me also and not make this all about you?Can you be honest?I mean why even ask/tell me things when my opinions/suggestions dont even matter,when you have already made up your mind?

2011-02-03T11:50:00.002+08:00

Fight For Us!

Things are not looking good at the moment in Friendship land.I dont even understand how things just escalated and got out of hand!I hope things will not remain this way,I mean come on,we're better than this!People say and do stupid things when they are angry and we can get angry back,in fact we should get angry but we should never entertain the thought of discontinuing the friendship.Ok,I know I risk sounding hyprocrytical by saying this but its true.I have been angry(very angry) and have thought that things will be so much better if I just ended the relationship,but deep down I know its not true.I sincerely hope you people would see it too.
Just remember,NEVER fight/settle things with someone over text messages.NEVER.ok?

Have you wanted something so bad that when you finally get it,you just get so scared?Like for instance,you have acne and you wanted to get that super powerful and magical acne cream that would make your face flawless.But once you get it,you just get so scared to try it cos you know that if this cream doesnt work,its (almost) the end.
No?
Yes?
Yea well,I'm feeling like this at the moment.Since I already have it,I wish I'd just have the courage to go for it instead of procrastinating.

2011-02-02T11:35:00.003+08:00

What Do You Think WTS Stands For?

So it was my first ever trip to a foreign land without any adults that lasted for more than a day and I must say,it was pretty awesome!

Genting was cold,very cold that it reminded me of Italy(dont blame me for having such fantasies).And cos of the heavy rain/fog,the outdoor theme park was closed.It was a bummer cos I mentally prepared myself to try ALL the rides,yes even the Roller Coaster.You do know I'm a roller coaster virgin right?Oh well,some other time than.Other than that,Jerrold and I had lots of fun.Walking around aimlessly,visiting almost every single shop,exploring all the link ways and underpasses and my personal favourite,playing in the arcade managed to keep us entertained.

The hotel lady checked us into the wrong hotel and when she told us like 4 hours later,we pretended to be angry to take advantage of the situation.It worked!We got our room upgraded(Our new room was simply fantastic,especially the shower.Dam shiok!)and 2 complimentary buffet breakfast,haha.But of cos,we will be writing a letter of commendation for that staff cos we kinda feel bad for her.She must be new...

Our gastronomial experience was not very pleasant.Except for the hotel's breakfast buffet and the cheesecake from this place called Lobby Cafe,everything else sucked.Marrybrown was disappointing,Penang food Village was tasteless and Hot Pot was a pathetic alternative to Seoul Garden(it only had Chinese Tea for free drink!).So if you happen to go there,you might want to avoid these eateries.

The disco(I'm quoting) and pubs there were not happening at all.The crowd(I don't even know if it can be considered a crowd)looked boring and the cover charges were not very appealing either.So we spent our nights watching movies in our room which is strangely enjoyable.

All in all,it was a great trip with my best friend.I mean for just $98 for transportation and accommodation and $100 for food and other expenses,we certainly had an enjoyable time.I'm definitely looking forward to the Eurotrip we have planned for once we complete NS.

2011-01-28T10:33:00.005+08:00

There Is Only One Person In This World Who Knows How To Satiate Me When I'm Upset.

Its funny how others think that I'd judge them if they tell me their darkest secrets.I mean come on,I think I'd be the last person ever to judge you based on your actions.Seriously!Ok,I might be shocked/speechless/dumbfounded etc but I'd NEVER judge/label/pigeonhole you.Honestly,I find it abit insulting that others might think that I'm this super disciplined and morally upright person who goes by the book.I'M NOT!I cant help it if I have 'that face'.Oh,but I'm not saying I'm some some guy with no moral compass or values,I know what's right and wrong and I think that's adequate.
SO Please Stop Judging Me.Thankyouverymuch.

I'm naturally curious and inquisitive and I don't think its good all the time.Anyway,I've figured out how I work when I'm upset.I get upset/angry and I let my mind over think and wander for reasons usually from events that have happened in the past.I need to let the other person know that I'm angry and I need to talk things out.Whilst this occurs,I start seeing perspectives,calm down and start rationalising.I don't really expect apologies because when we have a problem,I don't care whose fault is it,I just take it that we both are to blamed.The above mentioned applies to only friends.If you're a stranger,I'd just hate you or keep a distance from you(mostly).I might forget about it and try to start fresh,but don't count on it.

I tried Manhattan Fish Market and Macaroons for the first time with Vase yesterday.Very nice.And glad Vase's getting well too.Yay,the Picnic's tomorrow and Genting's on Sunday.SWEET!

2011-01-27T09:46:00.002+08:00

Lets Not Meet Cos Its Raining Heavily.

I had the weirdest dream ever(ok,not ever but today).Basically,I got arrested because I 'stole' an ambulance and drove it around(destroying public property in the process).But I stole it because one of my friend was seriously injured and when I asked an ambulance guy to help me,he just laughed at my face and drove off!So I got pissed,stole the ambulance and wanted to drive it towards my friend to rush him to the nearest hospital.But,there were some constructions going on so I had to U turn and I lost my way and blah blah blah.I drove around the island for an entire day and my driving was horrible cos I don't have a freaking license,yet.Finally,I was arrested at some mall and the place in my dream very much looked like Ang Moh Kio.I remember thinking to myself how my entire future is gone just cos I wanted to help my injured friend.
Tsk,the things I do for my friends.

I'm sure we've all heard people saying 'OMG,I cant believe he'd do that.He's my friend you know!'.Then I think to myself,if I were in that situation,would I be understanding to what my friend did because he is my friend and I'm suppose to know he's like that and he prolly didn't mean it or would I be upset that because he is my friend,he should have known better,not have done what he did and let my mind wander of the possible reasons to his actions.
I've been stuck in this dilemma for the longest time.Whenever something happens between my close friends and I,I struggle to react.I don't know if I should just understand and let it go or get upset about it.This is made worst when the other friend(s) doesn't know that I'm upset.
Trust me,its not that I don't want to let go,its just not as easy for me.I feel like if I let it go,its just going to happen again and again.And I also feel like I'm doing unjust to myself and allowing myself to be trampled over when I let things go.So I mostly get upset and sometimes things will escalate to a fight.Afterwards,I start seeing perspectives,talk things out,apologies will be exchanged and I'd eventually let it go.This is ALWAYS the routine.
I'm trying to change though and just be upfront with people if I'm upset but its just proving to be a hard job,especially when the things that might mean alot to me might mean little or nothing to others.

I had a new haircut yesterday.Still cant believe I did it,haha.Possible lunch plans with Vase later.Poor baby is sick.Get Well Soon!

2011-01-26T09:56:00.002+08:00

Row,Row,Row Your Boat.

My cousin Rizwan turned 14 yesterday and we had a small party(7 people considered party or not?) for him.He's honestly such a great boy and I sometimes wish he was my brother instead.Its unfortunate that some things had to happen to him the past year but I'm glad things are getting much much better now for him.I couldn't take any pictures during the party cos my camera is with Vasellia but anyways,HAPPY 14TH RIZWAN!

Yay,the long awaited picnic is just 2 more days away!Oh oh,and Jerrold and I are going on a short trip to Genting.It was suppose to be all 7 of us but with the exception of Jerrold and I,the rest have either school or work.Fuck our lives.Then it was suppose to be just Emman,Jerrold and I but no,things just had to fuck up and Emman had to get tangled up in some last min NS stuff!URGH SO ANNOYING!
So now,its just Jerrold and I.I'm excited actually.Its the first time I'm travelling with a friend(so what if its just Malaysia,travel is travel ok!) and staying over with no adults.Hope we'd both have a great time.Besides,this will satiate my desire for some travel.

2011-01-25T00:25:00.002+08:00

I Want To Be Somebody.

Don't we all?I'm turning freaking 21 but I feel as accomplished as a month year old baby!
Seriously,what is the key to happiness?
And seriously,I don't know.
Pure happiness is almost a myth because its impossible for you to find the key to happiness.Unless you are an island of your own(which is highly unlikely),people are inter-dependent.What makes you happy may not make someone else happy.Which brings us back to my theory of how there might(is) be no key to happiness.

You know how you have many things running in your mind and you wish you could express them but you don't dare cos it might be undesirable?I feel like that sometimes.You just cant be blatantly open up to someone and give them all access to your thoughts and emotions,can you?Yes,I have that one person whom I am extremely close to and a few others who I am close to,but I don't just pour out my soul to them.Its not that I don't want to,its just that its...complicated to say the least.

What's even harder that being completely honest with someone is being completely honest to yourself.You can put on a facade and lie all you want to others,but you can never do the same to yourself.
Trust me,I've tried.

2011-01-23T01:01:00.002+08:00

Fig&Olive And Daily Scoop

The weekend so far has been nice.Much better than my Wednesday and Thursday where I was just not in the mood to go through life any longer.You know how you just enter this phase of pessimism and everything is just so fucking bleak?You start seeing the worst of things and people and you seriously just want to shut yourself away from this miserable,pathetic life?
Phew,I'm certainly glad that's over.

I miss Syazana.Hope she's doing well in school.Its been too long since we met and it felt abit weird partying without her that day.At least when we were still schooling,we could all meet at least once a day for at least 5mins.But now,things are just not as easy anymore.I love you lots my favourite Princess and know that I'm always here for you.

Met up with Ms A for dinner at Vivo and later ended the night with dessert at Daily Scoop.It was so great to see her again.We had so much fun talking about anything and everything.And she brought back for us these cute little bottled nutellas from Italy.Awww...The only thing that could have made this evening better was the presence of Vasellia and Andrea.

2011-01-19T22:11:00.004+08:00

Confessions.

These are some things that I have felt/am feeling for quite some time actually,but I've never really gotten the chance to post it here.So here goes...

I think the little actions of people really make up a big picture of who they are.Don't get me wrong,I'm not advocating the judgement of others' small actions to make up your mind about them.I'm merely saying that these little things indeed tell at least a small part of a person's character.Their subconscious actions,the words they utter under pressure or during moments of heat and even the things they never do really do define an individual.No matter how close or well we think we know someone,it is at the least expected times where we get to discover something new about them.Good or bad,that's another issue.

Lets try putting this into perspective.I don't mean to brag(really) but I'm pretty selfless when it comes to my things.I allow people to borrow my stuff(unless I absolutely hate you) and I don't really make a fuss if something happens to my stuff(like if someone steps on my shoes or accidentally spills something on my shirt).Its not always good cos people might take advantage if this but generally it tells that I'm kind to a certain extend.I don't place much emphasis on my things cos,they are things after all.If you wanted to borrow my shoes cos you have somewhere to go,I'd most prolly lend them to you.I guess I value the relationship I share with you more than the relationship I share with my shoes.But then again,this is just me.I cannot expect everyone to share the same sentiments and even if they don't,it doesn't make them a bad person.It just shows a part of their character.I am of cos speaking from experience.

Also,though you may not mean it or you may even be joking(which I highly doubt),every time you point out something you don't like in me or compare me to someone else,I feel very low about myself.Worse,I feel rejected,especially when I have done something for you and you refuse to return the favour.I don't exactly understand why,but I just know that I feel this way.It makes me think less of myself and how I'm flawed(which is true...).I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.I feel disgusted with myself.I feel like I'm at the losing end cos I accept you for who you are but you don't accept me for who I am.I feel like I can look past certain things of yours but you cannot do the same for me.And the scary thing is,I don't think I'm suppose to be feeling this way towards you,at least not in that particular sense.Of cos you are not to be blamed cos that's just who you are.I know that very well.But its just that sometimes it hurts...very much.

2011-01-18T23:15:00.002+08:00

Show Me How You Burlesque.

Just came back from last session of Basic Theory lesson.Somehow night lessons are always tiring and the instructor back at school didnt help one bit.Ok fine,he was ok,but boring and super super repetitive!OMG,stop repeating already,we are not 5!Oh well,I'm just left with the e-trails,BTT and hopefully I can start my practical soon!

Jerrold practically did not even spend a single cent today but he managed to watch a movie(with popcorn and drink),buy an itouch running sleeve from Royal Sporting House and have dinner somewhere nice.Lucky ass!
Both of us went to watch Burlesque(my treat) at Cine before heading down to Suntec's RSH.The movie was fantastic.Great story,awesome numbers and oh so sexy people.Dayyum!
So I have these vouchers for RSH I got from MI last year and I thought of using them today.Bought a pair of running shoes(yes,its time to lose those lipids!),slippers and a pretty nice looking bag.And Jerrold had to ask me to 'buy' him this itouch running thingy,so being the nice friend I am,I got it for him.Bastard's been getting lots of free stuffs of the late!Haha.

I think I'm going to go sleep now.Cant wait to meet Rina tomorrow.

2011-01-12T22:48:00.002+08:00

And The Last Domino Drops.

You know what,just keep your twisted mental thinking to yourself and don't drag me into it.I've seriously had enough of being careful not to hurt you and try to make this mutually satisfying.This is the third time you're(fucking) pulling this nonsensical crap on me.And I'm not going to take this shit anymore.Now that you've left,just make sure it bloody well stays that way cos I don't need you in my life.(Fuck!)

Oh.My.God.This is insane.I think I've got feelings for you,like real feelings.Either that or I'm envious that you have somewhere to go and I don't.OMG,this is mental!

I'm mental.You're mental.She's mental.He's mental.This week's mental.This life's mental.

2011-01-12T12:01:00.002+08:00

Stereo Love

Ok,I'm a little skeptical about your entire situation to be honest.But at the same time,I'm honestly happy for you.I mean,if things are indeed looking up for you,then who am I to not be happy about it?Everyone deserves anything but the best.Having said that,it'll still do you some good to remember not to be a rude bitch sometimes.
Okthanksbye.

This phlegm of mine is seriously killing me!I tried to cough it all out just now,only to have my throat and temple hurt like fuck!Now I feel like there's a ball of rice permanently stuck at the side of my throat.And every breath I take from my nose leads to the accumulation of mucus.I cant even clear my throat without accumulating mucus!And this does not sit well with aunties in the trains and buses.They now prolly think I have some disease.

Its already almost Mid January,that was fast.Very soon Jerrold would be enlisting(leaving me effing bored),A level results will be released and I'd enter SPF(whichever comes first).Oh well,que sera sera.

2011-01-10T16:29:00.001+08:00

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

2011-01-09T21:31:00.002+08:00

Muscato

I got a job.Ok,moving on.
This weekend will definitely be one of the best weekends of 2011(excluding the fact that I was sick and my phlegm was killing me).I know,its like too soon to say right,but its true.From Friday night till Sunday evening,my time was spent with some of my favourite people.

Friday night's dinner at Rex with Andrea,Vasellia,Jerrold and Rina was great.Though not all 7 of us were present,it was still an awesome dinner affair.Dessert time later at Starbucks was even better.Ending the night with Apple crumble cheesecake,Apple fritters,Fudgey chocolate cake and goodnight hugs from your most favourite friends is really a dream come true.

Saturday's Movie and Dinner with the boys was fun too.I tried Wendy's for the 1st time at Nex and its actually pretty tasty,especially their frosty shake(strawberry).Their beef chilli is nice too.Little Fockers was hilarious.Though I didn't watch the previous 2 movies,I still managed to catch all the inside jokes.Yay me!

And today,I met Vidya and Murali for lunch.Though we've not met as a group for more than 3 years,it was not awkward at all,not even a bit.It was just like old times and the bitch Asha(I don't think you guys know her) was the hot topic.As I type this,I'm just brimming with joy at having met with all the above mentioned people.Its not very often that one gets the luxury to actually spend quality time with his loved ones.

I simply cannot wait for the next meet up and of course,The Picnic.

2011-01-05T17:11:00.002+08:00

Lemsip.

I cannot believe I'm falling sick again.I just fell sick last month.Plus,I need to enjoy this freedom of having not to go to school while others have to.Sheesh,need to strenghten my immune system.Bring on the Vitamin C tablets!

I had lunch with my Grandfather,something I've not done in a long,long time.It felt really good.I should do this more often.I use to be so close to him when I was younger.I'd practically follow him everywhere,to the market,shops and even to his workplace.I miss those times.Maybe this is all part of the frightening concept known as growing up,but I know I still love him truckloads.I still remember the promise I made him to get my own car and drive him around with Grandma.Looks like it might come true soon afterall.

And during lunch,Grandfather was telling me about his childhood,his friends and his bestfriend.They apparently graduated from school together,worked in the post office together,got promoted together and had lots of fun together.Come to think of it,I remember how Grandma would sometimes complain how he use to have lots of fun with his bestfriend and not care so much about his children.Haha.They've been bestfriends for about 40years!Wow.But the other guy passed away when Grandfather turned 60.I could see the sadness in my Grandfather's eyes when he was telling me about it.They must have really been close.I wonder how it must have felt to physically permanently lose someone so close and dear to you.

True friendship is such an amazing thing.And for those who have found it,they are truly blessed.I for one really hope that in 50 years down the road,I'd look back and have many many awesome memories with both my bestfriend and my loved ones.

Oh and GREEK SEASON 4 is out!Fantastic!I'm a happy boy/man again.

2011-01-01T20:58:00.003+08:00

The Year Of The Rabbit.

New Year's Eve started out intimate and fun with pizza,muscato,coke,chicken wings and NatGeo Music at Jerrold's place.Getting ready to head out to Clarke Quay was in itself fun.Met some friends on the way to Clarke Quay Square and it certainly set the party mood.Honestly,I had so much fun at the countdown event.I was just intoxicated with happiness,energy and laughter.It was definitely one of the best nights of 2010 and best mornings of 2011.Besides,what could be more better than spending time with some of my most favourite people(wished Andrea and Vasellia were there though).

I'm actually really tempted to talk about all the things that have happened in 2010.But by doing so,I feel as though I'm clucthing the past close to my chest and I'm afraid it might ill-equip me to let go of the past.But one thing is for sure,2010 was a major major year.I discovered my strengths and weaknesses and traits I never knew I had.

But I am going to dedicate a small section here for all my loved ones.
Family love is a given.No matter what,I'm truly blessed for all the family members I have.
To my closest six friends from MI,you guys are the best and I cant wait for the many more years of friendship to come.
To the boys,we may not be as close now since we're all trotting along different paths in life,but I know our friendship has a long long way to go.
To Murali,you are a unique friend.I know I tend to forget you amidst all my other distractions but I'm happy it doesn't stop you from calling me often and us being great buddies.
And to my other friends,thank you for being a part of my life and letting me share a part of your life.
I wish you all the best for this brand new year and hope we'll not experience awkwardness if we happen to chance upon each other.

2010-12-30T20:47:00.003+08:00

Last Christmas,I Gave You My Heart...

Xmas dinner at Emmanuel's was AMAZING.The food,oh the food was so so good!Orgasmic really.There was roast chicken,turkey,stir fried vegetables(ok,spoiler haha),sweet and sour fish,mysore mutton,pasta...you get the drift.And most of all,Emmanuel was there!Well duh,its his house party but its just that he was there to spend time with.Though its pretty saddening that it's very likely Emman's last Xmas in Singapore,it felt fantastic to spend time and laugh together,all 6 of us.Wish Andrea was there though.Emman's parents and siblings were really friendly too.And one of their dogs howled at Vase haha,not barked but it bloody howled.Must be the hair!

New Year's the day after tomorrow and alot of changes await.Syaz's going to embark on her A level journey,Vase,Rina and Andrea will be having further education plans,Emman will be overseas,Jerrold will be going off to SAF on 10th Feb and I will be off to HTA on 15th March.Wow,diversification much.Its going to be hard to meet up and it might get lonesome and sometimes frustrating,especially when we have spent more than 2 years seeing each other 5days a week,every week but,I know we will never forget each other.We love each other too much and we've just done and gone through so much shit together.

Like I always say,'Separated By Distance But Never By Heart'.

2010-12-28T23:52:00.003+08:00

I Need Tissue!I Need Tissue!

That's what Jerrold said but because we were both so full and bursting after our dinner at Seoul Garden(City Square outlet is really high tech and efficient)and he was talking with his mouth full,I heard him saying 'I need to chew,I need to chew'.So I replied 'Walau,so fat until so lazy to even chew?!'

It was hilarious.We ordered all the ice cream combination available(about 16) and ate them.Jerrold was being a pussy and wanted to flake out.But being his best friend,I motivated him with 'Its all in the mind' and ' Rest if you must,but don't you quit', forcing him to finish it all.We were laughing and having so much fun.I cant remember the last time where we were so glee and cheerful,just the both of us.And its nice,addictive really.

So this orange letter was waiting for me when I got back from dinner and it says-You are hereby required under section 10 of the Enlistment Act(Cap 93),to report for enlistment on 15 March 2011 at 9:00AM to HOME TEAM ACADEMY.

Now what could this be?Hmmm..Argh,its my freaking NS status!Well honestly,I'm feeling ambivalent.I kinda wanted to go Army so I can become an officer,but seems like the big guy up there has other plans for me.I need some time to digest this.Jerrold's yet to get his letter.

Oh and thanks Joyce for your awesome handmade Xmas card.Its so sweet!

2010-12-27T00:00:00.003+08:00

Changing For The Better.

You know,I can feel myself changing for the better.I mean I'm still confused if these new thoughts and decisions I make are right or wrong but overall,I feel this is how things should be.Looks like my 2011 resolution might come true after all.But its too early to say...

Meeting up with the boys was FANTASTIC.It felt really really good to spend time with them again.It was as though we were in Sec4 all over again.Cant wait to meet them soon.

Andrea's party was great too.The food was amazing and the wine was better.Try it-Yellowtail Muscato.Sweet and refreshing.

Oh.My.God.Did you see Miss Universe 2010?
She's insanely hot.Perfect I tell you,PERFECT.Sweet and sexy all at the same time.I'm not even sure if she's human.Mind boggling.I think I'm in love!

The last week till the year 2010 comes to an end.Somehow I feel sad.Strange really.

2010-12-25T00:21:00.002+08:00

Santa's A Party Whore.

Wow,its Christmas.Again.Haha.But nonetheless,its a festive occasion that just brings warmth and joy to one and all.

I really wish Jerrold(that lucky ass got an Ipod Nano for Xmas!)had a Xmas party this year.It would have been the perfect time to celebrate.We just ended a major phase of our lives and we are completely idle and free of commitments.But never mind.Besides,Andrea's having her party and I'm invited.Can I let you in on a secret?Its my first ever Xmas party,like in a house and all.Shhh,don't tell!I cant wait,Yay!

Bumped into Vasellia.Andrea and Nawfel at town yesterday afternoon.Its so nice to see them,its like I just feel energised.Spent a while shopping with Vase for the Xmas Fiesta before meeting Vidya.Bumped into Humaira and Khuzaifah at Starbucks at night.It was nice to see Humaira too,kinda miss her and her loud voice.

Finally I'm meeting the boys later for lunch and movie.Its been ages since I saw Safwan,Nic and JM.I'm blaming A Levels.I really miss them.We go way back and I cant believe this year marks our 8th year of friendship.

I've decided that I'm going to work next year.I'm just going to enjoy this year.Haha,funny how we only have about 6 days to use '2010' and 'this year'.

Things I MUST do This Year before 2011
1)Club at least once
2)Seoul Garden at City Square
3)East Coast Park/Beach
4)Disney Movie Marathon

2010-12-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

Its Christmas Eve.

Wow,its xmas eve and that means the year is coming to an end.Can you feel it?

My grandparents are coming back from India today and I'm excited.I just want to give both of them a big hug.I really love them,unconditionally.

And so I'm going to meet you tomorrow and I don't know what to expect.I just hope things will turn out fine.A part of me just wants to take advantage of the situation but the better part wants me to be responsible and sensible.Fuck.

So,I've been working on this letting go 'programme' so that I can just be happier and lighter in 2011 and its not too bad.I came up with the following for those interested.

1. Commit to letting go. You aren’t going to do it in a second or maybe not even in a day. It can take time to get over something. So commit to changing, because you recognize that the pain is hurting you.

2. Think about the pros and cons. What problems does this pain cause you? Does it affect your relationship with this person? With others? Does it affect work or family? Does it stop you from pursuing your dreams, or becoming a better person? Does it cause you unhappiness? Think of all these problems, and realize you need to change. Then think of the benefits of forgiveness - how it will make you happier, free you from the past and the pain, improve things with your relationships and life in general.

3. Realize you have a choice. You cannot control the actions of others, and shouldn’t try. But you can control not only your actions, but your thoughts. You can stop reliving the hurt, and can choose to move on. You have this power. You just need to learn how to exercise it.

4. Empathize. Try this: put yourself in that person’s shoes. Try to understand why the person did what he did. Start from the assumption that the person isn’t a bad person, but just did something wrong. What could he have been thinking, what could have happened to him in the past to make him do what he did? What could he have felt as he did it, and what did he feel afterward? How does he feel now? You aren’t saying what he did is right, but are instead trying to understand and empathize.

5. Understand your responsibility. Try to figure out how you could have been partially responsible for what happened. What could you have done to prevent it, and how can you prevent it from happening next time? This isn’t to say you’re taking all the blame, or taking responsibility away from the other person, but to realize that we are not victims but participants in life.

6. Focus on the present. Now that you’ve reflected on the past, realize that the past is over. It isn’t happening anymore, except in your mind. And that causes problems - unhappiness and stress. Instead, bring your focus back to the present moment. What are you doing now? What joy can you find in what is happening right now? Find the joy in life now, as it happens, and stop reliving the past. By the way, you will inevitably start thinking about the past, but just acknowledge that, and gently bring yourself back to the present moment.

7. Feel compassion. Finally, forgive the person and realize that in forgiveness, you are allowing yourself to be happy and move on. Feel empathy for the person and wish happiness on them. Let love for them, and life in general, grow in your heart. It may take time, but if you’re stuck on this point, repeat some of the ones above until you can get here.

7 more days to a brand new year,a brand new ME!

2010-12-22T18:14:00.003+08:00

I'm Not Going To Lie,But This Is Hurting Me.

"I'm just going to say this,for the past 2 days(without you) I've been happy and...light"
"It has just become so tiresome"
"I feel like I cant be myself around you anymore"

I don't want the bitterness. I don't want the anger. Yet, they are there, a daily part of my life.Sometimes you just wonder why does all these have to happen to you?Why cant things be just like how they use to be?We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another — we were treated badly, trust was broken, hearts were hurt.And while this pain is normal, sometimes that pain lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over, and have a hard time letting go.

And we have every right to not let it go!Why should we let it go when it has caused us so much pain,so much tears and turmoils?We should hold on to it so that we are not fooled again,right?

Wrong.The only thing we must do is to learn from it and make sure we don't subject ourselves to such predicaments again.And if it is possible,we should learn to forgive those involved.Forgiveness does not mean you erase the past, or forget what has happened. It doesn’t even mean the other person will change his behavior — you cannot control that. All it means is that you are letting go of the anger and pain, and moving on to a better place.

It’s not easy. But you can learn to do it.I can learn to do it.

2010-12-20T12:19:00.002+08:00

The Morning After Dark.

The party of 2010 was a success to a very large considerable extent.Why is it not a full success?Well of cos there are always bound to be problems in every single undertaking rite?So yes,there were some discrepancies,but on the whole,the party of off the hook!

Unfortunately,I left the cable to connect my camera to my laptop at the party venue.I hope they'd find it and return it to me.Till then,we just have to anticipate for the pictures.

Funny how I had so much fun with everyone else but you.We were suppose to have the time of our lives.We were suppose to go wild together and just laugh till we drop.But we didn't.I don't know if it is entirely my fault but I just hope we could have the amazing time we deserve soon.

I still don't know why these things keep happening to us.Its.Really.Frustrating.

"btw,the bank of china was just beside us all along.Its behind Ascotts"
Haha,thanks for the info syaz!

2010-12-18T16:45:00.002+08:00

Tonight.

Tonight is the night my friends and I have been waiting for.Actually its one of the two special nights.

I.Cant.Wait.

Its time to get the party started to end this year with a bang.Literally.

2010-12-15T15:34:00.003+08:00

Keep the Faith.

I have just recovered from fever,flu and cough and I've already started drinking cold water and eating ice cream.So Fat!

Its amazing how different people perceive a particular topic differently and it is only natural for them to stand firm on their point of view.Like I've always said,its hard to see perspectives when you are hurting.But sometimes,it is really for the best to just put aside stubborness and talk things out.Fuck,I sound like a hypocrite because I dont adhere to the above mentioned when I'm angry or upset but,but, I still calm down eventually and talk things out.Key word:eventually.

I see so much in you.The love you have for your friends and how much we mean to you but I also see your mistakes.Mistakes that could have been avoided and prevented all the predicaments that followed.I know,no man is perfect but sometimes your flaws really do bring out the worst in us.But then again,how do you please everyone?Its impossible right?
I guess it just boils down to who you would rather please...

On a brighter note,since the Gods have blessed me with so much idle time(thanks to the end of As and the lack of employment),I have been occupying myself with this series called Spartacus:Blood and Sand.Its awesome I tell you.Blood,violence,and sex.Yes,yes a typical 'guys' show' but still,its absoutely fantastic.

2010-12-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

Distanced By Space,But Never By Hearts.

Hmmm,not a very good day.

Two of my very close friends are not in good terms and its not the first time this has happened.I understand both their views and can totally relate to one of them because I've been in his/her position before and I've struggled with it too.But the only difference was that I had the time and proximity to air my grievances and find solutions but this other friend of mine does not have this luxury.
Just a thought though,why would you go through with this when you clearly know that the people who mean most to you are obviously upset and bothered by your decisions?
But anyway,we'll get through this just like how we always do.

Someone I know is suffering from breast cancer,last stage.Doctor said the only thing that can be done is to minimise the pain for now and nothing else.It is during times like these that I think its best to place all hopes,prayers and burdens on God for we mere mortals do not possess the capability to be this strong.Its amazing yet scary,the fragility of our lives.

I watched HP7 Part1 last Saturday(finally)!
As a fan,it was fantastic.
As a fanatic,it was satisfactory.
I guess its because all the action is saved for Part2.But one thing's for sure,Emma Watson is drop dead gorgeous.She is simply stunning.'Effortlessly beautiful' as Syaz said and I couldn't agree more.

Hoping things will take a turn for the better soon.

2010-12-13T22:11:00.003+08:00

I'm Staring At Your Face,Even When I Close My Eyes.

I hate how much I miss you.
I hate how much it affects me when we fight.
I hate how much I hate that things are getting difficult between us.
I hate that I cant just get you out off my mind and keep my distance.
I hate that I cant hate you.

As you might have already guessed,things are not so fine and sunny in FriendLand.I don't know why but things just have been so difficult these past few months.And its frustrating because I feel so helpless,like I cant do anything about it.I'd be lying if I said that you and I enjoyed a blissful relationship before because we DO fight ALOT.But somehow the fights/quarrels we have now seems different and intense.I cant really verbalise/type out my feelings/thoughts right now but I hope that the unconditional love we have for each other will fight against all odds.

2010-12-12T16:53:00.003+08:00

Second Day Syndrome

Be it tightening of one's braces, a breakup, a hangover, or even post-gym ache(such a distant memory) - the Second Day is always the one with the worst pains.Dont you think so?

Quite frankly, I've been miserable today.Waking up to realise that you fought with someone the day before is such a horrid feeling(especially if this someone happens to be a person you love very much).Your eyes flutter open,this heavy feeling sinks in and your mood for the entire day is pretty much set in stone.I could be concentrating on an activity and suddenly the fact that I'm not in good terms with this someone will pop into my mind.And unfortunately this has been happening too often for my liking for the past week.

I'm tired and I dont know what to think anymore.

But I've been thinking about things that come in pairs and things that go well with each other...

Believe in all things magical and irrational.

2010-12-10T22:34:00.002+08:00

I Can Get Use To This.

So yesterday marked the 1 week anniversary of the breakup that occurred between A Levels and I.Its just a week?Honestly,it felt way longer.
But,I'm not complaining.I mean who would?I get to do anything I want all day and nobody can question me(almost).

None of the jobs called me back except Forever21.I don't really want to work there cos it just feels weird working in a women's apparel store.I don't mind the constant exposure to the many different beautiful women I'd get whilst working there but still,it just feels a little teeny weeny bit weird.We'll see how it goes.Hopefully another place would call me.

Jerrold and I were talking the other day about not working at all and just enjoying the time we have.We will be employed by the state for 2years in a few months time anyway.Sounds very tempting but where will we get the money to fund our activities?And,most of our friends will be working so its not going to be as fun without them.

Well for now,I'm just going to be enjoying myself and give new meaning to the terms procrastination and laziness.

2010-12-04T21:49:00.004+08:00

I'm Back!

Wow,after almost 4 months,it sure feels good to be back here.
I've realised that I actually do miss writing stuff here.It's my way of coping with some of the things life sometimes(most of the time) unexpectedly throws at me.

Glorious news first,A LEVELS ARE OVER!
Yep,they officially ended as of 2nd Dec and it just feels so good to be relieved of all the stress,workload and worry.But I will miss all my friends and the fun things we did in school.For almost 3 years I took my school friends for granted knowing that I'd see them 5 days a week when now I realise it's going to take a Little bit more effort to arrange for meet ups and fun times.

But 1 thing's for sure,this month is going to be rocking!

2010-07-18T22:19:00.002+08:00

Change Has Started.Now.

This weekend marks the glorious end of Fats,Food and Fun in my life for the next 4 months.Tomorrow my life is going to change.For good.Its about time this happened.

Its funny cos I have so much to say but yet I'm thinking what to type.Maybe its best my thoughts remain where they are now,in my mind.

112 days.

Ok Thanks Bye.

2010-07-05T17:48:00.003+08:00

The Little Games Life Plays With Us

Its been four.fucking.long.years since we last met each other and now all of a sudden you are back in my life.How am I suppose to react?
Happy?
Sad?
Frustrated?
Angry?
Nonchalant?
I just need some time to take it all in and for now,i guess I'm just happy and confused at the same time.

Prelim1 is going to end soon,like this Wednesday.Yeah!
And then the results will come...Boo!

I really like this one.It'd be better if I was saying it to her than him right?Haha.

2010-06-28T22:34:00.003+08:00

Not A Bad Start After all.

Prelim 1 exams commenced today.Commenced?Eugh,who uses the word commenced?
Anyway,like I said,the exams have officially started and this means they will officially be ending soon as well.Yay!

Geography paper really wasn't as bad as I thought.I found MOB hard though,stupid shit.

I've got nothing much to say except maybe wish me luck for my papers.In the meanwhile,enjoy these funny snippets,courtesy of Jerrold.

Just when I'm about to not miss you, you had to come back right in!

2010-06-24T22:57:00.002+08:00

A Silent Prayer For You

A death in the family leaves a void that cannot be filled. No one can ever take the place of this individual in the world. We should not try to comfort the family by saying that "it was his time anyway", or, "he was suffering". These may be words of comfort later but not now. However, there must be time to mourn the fact that things will never be the same. One minute he was here and now he is gone. The human mind must be allowed to sit with this reality. Mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. If it is ignored, a general feeling of sadness may pervade the whole family.

And its surprising how someone else's death affects you.

Now I'm worried for I know without them,I wont be here.And I stand here guilty and wondering if its too late to be the person they want me to be.

If you have an aged loved one,spend lots and lots of time with them.Don't neglect them cos you never know when their last breathe might be.
You don't need to impress them, but just don't disappoint them.
Don't think only about your future because without them you might not even be here.
I sincerely hope its not too late for me.Sincerely.

2010-06-21T20:33:00.005+08:00

Lets Rewind And Pause

I've been thinking alot lately with the little brain space I have,after trying to squeeze in Geography,Literature and MOB stuff.Neither thinking with little brain space nor trying to get facts and theories in your head are easy mind you.

There are so many things I want to tell you but I think words wont do justice,so I remain silent.And the worst part is,I feel guilty for not talking.

I had fun this weekend-worked as a casual labourer at Wavehouse,Sentosa(the pay was not bad and it was nice to work with friends),met up with an old friend and trust me it was hilarious,went for cousin Arafin's birthday party(so fun to meet the other side of the family) and fathers' day was spent at the Singapore Flyer and Resorts World.That's alot of stuff in a weekend and you cant imagine the guilt I'm having of the time I wasted not studying.But it is the holidays after all,so I must have some fun,right?

Do you know how afraid I am?
I honestly miss you,alot.

2010-06-15T16:37:00.003+08:00

I Think We Are Like Parallel Lines.

I wish it weren't us
I wish not this way.

I stared at this blank space,lost for words to say,
Maybe I should just leave it this way.

2010-06-06T15:35:00.004+08:00

Your Face Turned And My World Stopped.

Is it normal to be sick for a week?Well not like fever sick but like headache,flu and cough sick.And my throat hurts like fuck,seriously.Cant wait to recover.Its been a week and Its the freaking holidays man!

First week of June holidays/hellidays had passed just.like.that.But its not all regrets cos I've started my revision.

And talking about school related stuff,I need to rant.I seriously don't get how the length of my hair or my facial hair affects my academia.So there's this man with lots of hair in my school and he seriously pissed me off last Friday when I went for Geog lesson.He was standing at the school gate with the security guard observing students(I mean who does that right?).He saw my unshaven face and obviously viewed me as competition so you know what he did?He made me hunt for a shaver(cos only people like him will carry around shavers in his breast pocket!),shave in 10 mins(with no cream mind you,ouch.) and report to him only to be told to shave more evenly under my chin!And all these was happening when I had a freaking class to attend.I was so pissed that I was this close to shouting at him.But of course being the polite student I am,I asked him if my shaving was satisfactory and told him it would have been better if he had asked me to do all these nonsense after my lesson instead of making me late for class.And of cos being the ass with superiority he was,he said I should have the responsibility of having to shave before coming to school and told me that he was kind that he didn't make me go for a haircut there and then.

I almost lost my will to live and realise there's no point arguing with this hairy man.So I just remained silent and nodded as he gave me a lecture of following the school rules and concluded with expressing his great interest in seeing me hairless(on the face and neck) and with a brand new short sexy splendid haircut the following Monday.Lovely!

Fine,I admit its my fault for wearing long hair and not shaving(which is a chore and I forgot) but I was just pissed at him for being unreasonable.He could have told me to report to him after my lesson or something.Tsk adults!

On a more cheerful note,the movie killers is really nice.Its funny and kinda action packed too.Ok,this is going to sound gay but that Ashton guy is really one hot good looking motherfucker.I completely understand why girls dig him.Catch the movie if you can.

Oh and to dampen my spirits,LEGEND OF THE SEEKER IS CANCELLED.Just kill me already!

2010-05-29T22:32:00.004+08:00

You And I Are Done Pretending.

GP Paper 2 was like shit,horrible nasty shit.I felt so bloody stupid after that paper!Tsk,Paper 1 was alright though.

The Taming Of the Shrew play was better than I expected.I really enjoyed it.The main actors are very skillful in their art.Good job guys.

I had so much fun on Friday.It was insane and I loved every minute of it.More more more!But sadly no,must study study study!

Heard the Great Spore Sale has started?Maybe should go and check it out.GSS isn't the only thing that's started,my hell-idays have also started.That means time to mug and prepare for Prelim 1,boo-hoo.

You know what,I think we should just stop pretending.Lets not waste time and effort ok,it's not going to matter.And as usual,why don't I take the first step and make it clear to you?
It doesn't matter,so stop pretending.

2010-05-24T14:44:00.006+08:00

Sometimes All You Need Is...

This weekend was packed.

It started off with Transcendence which was AWESOME.It was my first(and last) time attending it since I've been posted to this school.The performances were great and a job well done to Andrea and Syazana.And lets just say the fun continued long into the night.

Saturday was spent at Changi Naval Base.It was the Navy open house and I had lots of fun with Rina and Jerrold.The yogurt at J.Co is really nice,try it sometime.

It was Safwan's birthday on Saturday but we met up on Sunday cos that was when we were all free.The movie Losers is dam cool.Lots of action,big toys and not to mention hot girls.I cant wait for the sequel.Now only Prince of Persia,Robin Hood and Nightmare on Elm street is left unticked on my 'to watch' list.Oh,and I fell in love.
Fell in love with Moroccan food!We tried this new place in Arab street called Deli Moroccan and man the food is good.The mint tea is a MUST TRY and the kebabs are tasty too.

Had a really good time with the boys on Sunday oh and yes,HAPPY 20TH SAFWAN!

GP's on Wed,that's like in 1 1/2 days.That would mark the end of term 2 and start of June Holiday,which would mark the start of revision which would mark the start of Prelim 1 which would mark the start of term 3 which would mark the....Shit I don't even want to continue!

2010-05-19T22:15:00.004+08:00

I Don't Know What To Title This Post.

I'm glad to report that my revision status is progressing.Phew,but I must admit,Its so dam tough to sit down and study.I'd rather be doing anything else in the world than to be studying.Need to work on my self discipline.
And talking about school and studying,I think I'm going to miss it once I graduate.Come on,I've been in school for 20 years of my life(ok fine,about 15 years)!I'm going to miss my friends and being somewhat carefree...

Went out with N on Friday for... my...erm.. belated birthday?haha.It was a great evening.We went to Masala art,North Indian dining.The food was good and the ambiance was great.For an Italian boy(do I see tomatoes flying at my direction?),I'm a good Indian food lover!We unintentionally walked to the opening of the Singapore Arts Festival but it was cool.I've never seen so much fire in a place.

The Pre U Oratorical Challenge went fine on Saturday.I think I make a good emcee,haha.But the eclairs they provided us for lunch was to die for.I swear I've never tasted such good eclairs in my life.Ever!And it was a good experience and exposure working with Saima from CJC and Sabrina from Speak! Ventures.Thanks for the opportunity guys!

The annual Transcendence in MI is this Friday.Come down,it looks fun.

Ok,time to pack my bag for school.No,I'm not kidding.

2010-05-12T20:01:00.003+08:00

Someone Please,Make Me A Motivation Potion.

3 days since the Italians left.
3 days I've been missing them.
I think I'm Italian within.There must be Italian blood inside me.What do you think?
Yea,I know I'm right(don't be jealous).

I want something so bad,so so bad.But then why am I not motivated to go after it.Why is it that I find excuses to not start and procrastinate?Why?WHY?!

Got my Prelim 1 exam timetable today and I've got one word for it.SUCKS!Geography and MOB are on the same bloody day!WTF!And looking at the timetable itself just made me all quiver and shake with fear.Like this how to tackle the papers?
Wish me luck,GP's in 2 weeks(and less).

Lets see how Friday goes.

2010-05-10T18:55:00.005+08:00

See You Later Does Not Mean Goodbye.

Its back to reality.
The Italians flew off last night and I miss them terribly.When they were here,there was something to look forward in school.Almost everyday after school(and my revision),we would meet to explore Singapore.But now,no more such adventures.Though I hated yesterday's goodbyes,I'm glad we've all forged a strong bond over the last 10 days and we have so many memories to treasure.

I made a promise to visit them in Italy.Again,another promise.I've yet to fulfil the Bintan promise and now this.But I guess its for the better,cos it will constantly remind me of the great friends I have thousand of miles away,6217 miles to be exact.

Hope you guys have safely reached home.I cant wait till we meet again.Why must we stay so far apart(and not to mention at a distance that requires a large sum of money)?!

3 more weeks till the term comes to a close.Scary much.

2010-05-03T12:31:00.006+08:00

Fun is scarcely the adjective.

Many things have happened.
No,not really,my life isn't that interesting.

The Italians are in town,well not all of them but just 4 of them for the MI.World conference.I'm so glad to see Carlo again(he was my host when I went to Italy in March earlier this year).And Gabriele is awesome too.And the other two girls.We(Jerrold and I) have been having fun with them(without compromising too much of our revision,I think).They will be going back on the 10th.So I'm planning to have as much fun as I can with them(again,without compromising too much of our revision).

Guess who turned 20 last Friday?
No,not you!
I had the best surprise birthday ever!
I cant believe my secondary school friends and MI friends collaborated to surprise me,and you know what the best part was,I did not see it coming!Man,these guys are getting better.Here I was thinking I'm the master of surprises.Tsk haha.

Anyway,A HUGE AWESOME HUG AND THANKS to(in no particular order)
1.Rina
2.Siva
3.Jerrold
4.Joyce
5.KeWei
6.Jing Mian
7.Syazana
8.Vasellia
9.Andrea
For making me the happiest 20 years old boy/man on Friday afternoon.

And to everyone else,thanks for your wishes via SMS or Facebook.

Oh,and you guys should see my cake!

I ate Vanessa Hudgens and Emma Watson.Now,how many of you can say that?!(Siva ate Quin,stupid boy!)

2010-04-18T10:37:00.006+08:00

What Happened?

You did not.
Its official that I'm Captain no more.Maybe it was a wrong time,wrong person,wrong intention,wrong direction...ah,does it matter?Maybe one of us should have been more clearer,more honest in what we wanted?

Been spending time with Rina lately.Its amazing how when something 'sad' happens,she's there to 'help' me out.She's like a jet stream where aeroplanes tag along to reach their destinations faster(haha,looks like I've been revising my Geography).Rekha's been joining us to since they are both classmates.We had/are having so much fun.

I don't know about you,but I enjoyed Shutter Island.Its a twisted and sad movie.It shows how people's good intentions are sometimes simply wasted and how sometimes we get so angry with what we've done that we do extreme things to never be that person ever again.Abit psycho,trust me.But If you ask me,I'd say watch the movie.

Project Work results were released last Friday.Hmmm,not to bad,I'm satisfied with my results but some others did not deserve the grades they got.Their effort did no equalled to the grades awarded to them.

Andrea's 20 was great.Simple but filled with LOTS OF LOVE.

2010-04-11T12:15:00.008+08:00

Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture.

Met N after like 3 weeks since I came back from Italy and she came back from London.We had lunch at Mackenzie Rex,bubble tea,donuts and roamed around town.It was nice to see her after a long time.Sorry if the unexpected visitors overwhelmed you N,totally unexpected.Oh,and thanks alot for the chocolate.I'm sure they're going to taste great.I'm not going to share it with anyone by the way.Hope you like my gift too.

Presents,cupcakes,2 tiered cake,dancing,booze,great north Indian food and many more.Vasellia's 21st birthday party was AWESOME.I just have no words to describe it.Thanks for throwing such a fantastic party and letting us have fun.This is one hell of a party I've never forget for a long time.

For everyone person who says you can do it,there'll be 99 others who will say you cannot.Instead of getting discouraged by the 99,be encouraged by that one.

2010-04-10T09:58:00.008+08:00

Mama Kitty Turns 21!

Vasellia turns 21 today,brace yourselves everyone,the star's about to shine.

Though its only been about a year since I've been friends with this amazing big haired girl,she's been one of my closest and greatest friend ever.She's simply amazing.Everyone wants a piece of her so I guess she exudes awesomeness right?

And Vase,lets work hard this year.I'm very sure we can make it.I can smell the As we'll be getting.Ok,lets not talk about serious stuff now,we'll save that for next week.

Enjoy your birthday and have a blast.I can hardly wait for later!

HAPPY FREAKING SEXY 21st BIRTHDAY!

2010-04-09T14:02:00.004+08:00

1 More Day.

Tomorrow's going to be awesome.I can just feel it.My whole weekend is going to be burnt come to think of it so for my own good,I should get all my school assignment done by today.Easier said than done.

Sometimes its true that others know you better than you know yourself.You think you know yourself but you don't.To you,what you do or say will always be justifiable but other who can pass judgements fairly because they can see/hear what you do/say.Major changes are awaiting from next week onwards.But its for the best.

I think I can safely say this weekend's going to be my last weekend of wild crazy fun.(I think)

I've been missing Italy(what's new right)...

and I've been feeling GUILTY for not going back to Bintan yet(I miss those guys too especially Darma).Its not that I don't want to go back,I just cant seem to find time where most of us are free to go!

No matter how gorgeous looking or how promising and special someone is, people will let us down in one way or another.

2010-04-07T22:48:00.003+08:00

Funeral(not yet) For A (best)Friend.

Aiyo this boy ah,don't know what to say!

Dearest Jerrold,take care ok.You gave me a fright today during PE.After looking at your wound,I was like-'dear God,please don't let him die!'
I'm so glad you're all stitched up and on the track of recovery now.But you've got to admit,it was an experience that we'd talk about in the future.

2010-04-03T16:50:00.003+08:00

A Penny For Your Thought.

I feel like being brutally honest today,I don't know why.But I cant because it'd be brutal.Like I said,I feel like being brutally honest not just honest.

Have I mentioned that I'm done with hockey?
No?
Well,yes,I'm done with hockey.We emerged top 6 which is something that the hockey boys can be proud of.I'm glad hockey has ended,it does in a way give me more time to invest on other things which ideally should be my studies.

Its already April and I'm not prepared for anything.But I promise next week's going to be different.Its time for a change.I'd never forgive myself for not doing the things I know I'm suppose to do.

Hey you,if its not too much to ask,I'd really like to know what's on your mind.What you think?How you feel?Sometimes it kills me being in the dark.

2010-04-02T20:30:00.006+08:00

Lets Freeze To Death

Surprise birthday lunch at Seoul Garden for JM was quite a success.He kind of suspected because I told him Nic and Saf are both not free to meet when in fact,they were already waiting inside the restaurant to surprise him.What to do,we all know each other for 7 years and its quite hard to lie to each other.

We did the most craziest thing ever.We ordered every single ice cream available(23 to be exact) and put them around the table and tried every single one of them.It was amazing!Everyone was looking at us as we laughed loudly and enjoyed our ice creams.Our target was 3 rounds but we had to stop at 2 or else we'd all have puked.Seriously.

Tsk,so silly of me,forgot to bring along my new camera to show the guys the Italy pictures.And,hope you like our card and gift JM.You better!

2010-04-01T18:28:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday

HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY JING MIAN.

Wow,finally 20 huh,no longer a horny teenage boy.I cannot believe we've known each other for almost 7 years,amazing!Remember when we first got acquainted in Sec 2 when we were prefect interns and how we became ExCo members later on?Haha,good times man.Time literally flew by.Thanks for being such an awesome friend and being there for me in your own little ways when I needed someone.Oh no,now that you've turned 20,this means I'm going to turn 20 very soon!No,leave me alone stupid years!

Hope you had a blast yesterday/today and here's wishing you lots of sex,girls,good health,love,joy,laughter and all things nice.

See you soon bro.
Cheers.

On another note,we went to Kits4Kids for CIP today.Wow,those kids are really hyper and very difficult to handle.I pity the teachers.It was just 1/2 a day and I felt so worn out,imagine them doing it everyday!I salute them.Though I felt bad for the kids,I decided its not my pity that they need but my care.I tried my level best though but I must admit,it was abit tiring and agitating.But it was a good experience.

2010-03-26T22:49:00.006+08:00

Italia Uno

The Italy trip was AWESOME!Really,I had so much fun that it has already been 5 days since I'm back but I still miss them terribly and feel sleepy when its night time in Italy.That's how much I miss that place.

The Italians are so amazing.They are so friendly and spontaneous.I could instantly click with them.And not to mention the girls, they are well-made.I am just so in love with their culture and take on life.Its so fun and not stressful.

I don't want to go on to describe the trip cos I don't think I'll ever have enough space here.So I'll just highlight some parts of the trip and let the pictures do the talking.

*My host,Carlo and his family were fantastic.They are just so funny that I often forget I have a language barrier with them.Carlo can speak good English though,which made things so much easier.And he is so caring and concerned.Ok,this is going to sound gay but he even tucked me into bed every night!Awww...

*I got to ride Carlo's vespa.How awesome is that!

*I got to touch snow,only I while the others were resting at home.I even tasted it(OK,weirdo).No,I just stuck out my tongue and snow flakes landed on them.The feeling was euphoric.Did you know how long I have desired to touch real snow?

*Both Rome and Florence were beyond words.They were like museums.Every street and corner was brimming with rich heritage and art.I think I fell in love with Florence. The statues and artwork found everywhere were just so inspiring.

*Got to know Miss A so much better.She's actually dam funny.Haha,Charlotte.

I have so much more to say,but I shall stop here.Enjoy the pictures!
I miss you guys over at Italia so very much!

Oh,and this is for you N.When I was going to Italy,we transit at London and when I was coming back,we transit at Frankfurt.Haha,awesome huh!Haha

2010-03-25T12:05:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Damn,I cant believe I almost forgot yesterday was your birthday.Tsk,I feel uber lousy.But I made it up with the surprise cake.Hope you liked it.

Anyway,here's wishing you a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY.I'm grateful for all that you have been doing for me and treating me like your own son.I pray that you'd be happy and healthy always.

Lots of love.

Onto some saddening news,I'm down with fever.Urgh.I think I'm missing Italy too much.Haha.

2010-03-12T11:28:00.003+08:00

Goodbye Singapore,Hello Italy!

Ok here's the major news I've been dying to say but didn't/couldn't cos it wasn't confirmed and blah blah.But it's confirmed now!And you know what,I'm flying off tonight!Yes TONIGHT!
It's a literature exchange trip to Florence,Italy.I know,AWESOME right!
Miss A,Jerrold,I and 5 others are going on this trip.Oh oh and we're transiting in London!Nice ah!

Wow,I'm getting excited with every word I'm typing now!I can't wait!

I'm going to miss everyone and especially you.

2010-03-10T21:48:00.005+08:00

I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It.

Watched Alice in Wonderland yet?
No?
Well,its really nice.Caught it in 3D with N.The plot's quite similar to the book but the portrayal is amazing.Its very whimsical and very fascinating.And not to mention the awesome cast such as Anne Hathaway[I♥her](White Queen),Johnny Depp(Mad Hatter) and Helena Carter(Red Queen) made the movie a truly enjoyable visual feast.The twin fat boys-TweedleDee and TweedleDum are uber cute by the way,haha.Wish Alice was hotter,ok moving on...

I cant believe you've never eaten in Komala Vilas(its a indian vegetarian restaurant in Little India) before!That's like a Chinese who has never eaten pork or a Italian who has never had pasta.Haha,but its ok,you've got me to thank for making you a patron in that restaurant now.

Yesterday,under your block,near the lift..haha,nice.Thanks for making me look like a rapist!Oh and thanks for the travel medications,phrasebook and note.*wide grin*

2010-03-06T14:49:00.000+08:00

---

Smile
tho'
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

2010-03-05T21:23:00.004+08:00

'And In First Place...ZIRCON!'*screams and cries*

There,again!After 3 years,you've came and screwed my life.Again.How many times must I tell you that I don't like you?I tried to love you but you just didn't accept me.So why on earth are you back to screw my already screwed life?I hate you maths,I really do!Get lost!

I'm sure the part above is pretty self explanatory about how my H1 result was rite?Oh well,I cant dwell on it.At least I didn't get a U,so thanks for that.But this just means I'm made it very difficult for myself to enter University and need to compensate with my H2s and GP.Nice,this extra amount of pressure is what I need rite?Tsk.On the other hand,no pain,no gain.Kudos to Siva and Jerrold,they did well for their Maths.Miss H might be right after all,'they are way above me this time round'.

To all others who might not have done as well as you've expected,don't worry and dwell on it.My advise is to forget about and focus on the task at hand-A Levels.Like Miss Q said,'Don't shortchange yourself'.

Hockey didn't go well today,we lost,4-1 but it was a good exposure game,especially for the keeper.

Miss A's such a funny teacher.The drive in her car today so uber hilarious.She told us not to 'tell anyone' but this is all I'm going to say-Green worm,Arfie,iphone,Exit 14 and Mr I's car.See Miss A,I'm keeping my promise.

Need to utilise this weekend to distract myself from this week's insanity and gather myself.

Happy weekend all.

2010-03-03T17:55:00.002+08:00

Dont Shortchange Yourself

Today's HTP in the hall was rather interesting.The school should have more of such programmes.Mr C. Kunalan was awesome and I really loved his humour.Nice.On another note,it has been in my observation that most affluent Indian men have wives of another race.Eg.Mr Kunalan and Dr.Shanmugaratnam.Haha,interesting no?

I was reminded of a Tamil saying today.
Kannaal Paarpathum Poi,
(what we see may be lies),
Kaathadhal Keyirpathum Poi,
(what we hear may be lies),
Theera Visaripathey Mai.
(Clarifying gives us the truth).

For all those who said I cant,thanks cos I will prove you wrong.
I cant wait for the school term to end.Need to recharge and come back a new man!

2010-03-02T20:05:00.004+08:00

Dont Mix With Me,I'm A Bad Influence.

I hate to say it,but I was right.This week is definitely going to be an awful week.

Miss A's really pissed with our class.Some really drastic changes are in order but I'm hoping they wont follow through.She split us in different groups and decided to let each group teach for each lesson.I don't know if these experiments are going to be successful in this crucial year.But I sincerely hope she cools down and help us through our final lap.

I think there's nothing wrong with me.Yes,I talk alot and I'm sometimes not serious but that does not make me 'a person with no character' right?But if everyone thinks that there's something wrong with me,then something must be wrong with me,right?
Thanks Miss H,you've managed to put me down so low that I'm doubtful if I'd ever recover.

In case you've been living under a rock,word's out that A Level results are being released this Friday.That's like in 2 days!I'd be getting my H1 Mathematics result and I'm shaking to my bones.I'm really hoping to get at least an 'E' but then again,this is Maths we're talking about.Maths and I,nah uh.All the 'what ifs' are creeping up my mind right now but like what Mr I said in class today-'its too late'.But no matter what,I'm hoping I wont get discouraged too much and finish up my A Levels successfully.
Easier said than done.

I need to do some soul searching.I'm sick of all these drama in school and people telling something is wrong with me!

2010-03-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

Euphoric?I Don't Think So.

I arrived 10 minutes late(stupid) for the literature re-test.Great,just what I needed rite!But luckily Miss A was in a rather good mood so she didn't bite me.Hmmm,somebody must have had a happy weekend,hehe.The re-test was much easier than the CT poems but I still didn't have time to write a paragraph each for theme,tone and mood.I need to work on my time management.Fast.

Miss Q gave us back our Paper 5 and damn,I failed.Only 8/25!She said I failed cos I didn't answer the second requirement of the question.Urgh,depressing.Jerrold got 13.Vase got 14.Not bad ah,kitties are all getting smarter.Tomorrow is Miss A's lesson,sure die!Take cover!

Oh and now moving on to my favourite sports in the whole wide world,Hockey(yea right)!
MI won JJC
1-0
*applause*
We are the first sports CCA to open the A Division tournament in MI and fortunately we've managed to not embarrass ourselves by losing our first A Div match.Honestly,I felt quite good playing and oh get this,I played for the entire 70mins.Now,that's never happened before.I'm glad we won.Good job guys.Next up,RJC.

Ok,so there's this thing going on about how there's a ghost visible in one of the pictures we took during our Bintan OCIP trip.And guess what,its a picture of Xingmei and I.Apparently Joyce 'saw' it and then the girls and Jerrold know and then Caia knows and then Brian knows and then Vase knows and then Andrea knows and then and then,well you get the picture.I saw it,there's no bloody ghost or anything la.its just a bad reflection of light and it captured one of the girls(Rini I'm highly guessing) in the room and enlarged her head and some shit la.Ok,really,take a look at that picture in my facebook and analyze it yourself ok.These people ah,making a mountain out of a molehill.

Not looking forward to tomorrow and Miss H's and Mr T's 'geog talk'.

Legs aching.

2010-02-28T21:58:00.004+08:00

Maybe The World Should End Today.

Its Monday tomorrow and its going to be one of those intense weeks of my life.

1)I'm going to be sitting for a test that'd determine how my March holidays are going to be spent.
2)I'm going to play(or benchwarm) in our first A Division tournament against JJC for this year.
3)I'm going to be facing the wrath of the teachers who have marked my CT scripts.
4)I'm going to receive my A Level H1 result that'll pretty much sum up my whole life.

Nice huh.I don't know if I'm scared cos I'd disappoint myself or I'd disappoint those around me.I cant bare to have the people at home disappointed.They've done too much for me and the least I could do is to get decent(passing) grades to enter University right?

The only thing I'm looking forward to in this possibly hell week is catching Alice in Wonderland with N.Things are going well so far and that's good cos I'm known for screwing things up and ruining it.

About 2hours more till the new week starts.Damn,my nerves are dancing like Micheal Jackson on fire.

2010-02-26T14:28:00.002+08:00

"The Whole Point of This Is To Not Bring You Along."

Ok this is so fucked up.Fucked up beyond fucked up.I cant believe that just happened.Do you honestly think Yr3 students will intentionally want to fail a paper?I don't know about you but I wont do such a silly thing!I hope this coming Monday will allow me to redeem myself,get on board that plane and smell that pasta.But I'm bloody afraid that it wont happen.Bloody afraid.

My itouch got lost and then got found.Our dearest Jerrold left my itouch outside the staff room.He thought it was with me until I texted him saying it wasn't.He freaked out major.Luckily some kind soul found it and returned it to the General Office.Thank you kind soul(s) and Jerrold, you better take care of my things properly ok(unless you have $300+ to pay me back)!

Come Monday and its our first A Division tournament against JJ.The match fixtures have been released and we(they) think we have a good chance to qualify to the 2ND round.Good for us(them).

There's this awesome Royal Sporting House sales near my place.Prices are really low!I got a pair of inline skates inclusive of protective gear for just $34 and an Adidas jacket for just $29!Tomorrow last day so if you can head down to The Royal Sporting House in Macpherson,opposite/near Cedar sec.

Ok,I need to pack my stuff and get going for Hockey training.

2010-02-25T00:42:00.004+08:00

Brew Me A Concoction of Illusions

Right,Common Tests are finally over and I can finally breathe easy.But it wasn't a good end unfortunately.I've screwed up Geography and Literature major.Major.It didn't hit me till I was in the toilet with Jerrold hours after the paper.I thought I'll just feel numb since 'its only Common Tests'.But boy was I wrong.

"Eh,I screwed up Literature sia.Miss A is so gonna be pissed."
"Why are you bitching about it now?Its like what,4 hours after the paper!"

Luckily,I wasn't feeling down for too long cos we(Vase,Siva,Jerrold,Andrea and I) headed to East Coast Park to De-stress.It was simply awesome.Its been ages since I went to ECP and i think the last time I cycled,Dinosaurs were still roaming the Earth.We had lots of fun.It was just what I needed(I think).

Oh and then we had dinner at this Turkish place and it was so good.It's been there since forever but I've never noticed it.Thanks to Vase's eye for delicious food,we decided to try this place.Its really very nice.Lezzetli!

2010-02-19T22:49:00.002+08:00

Last Common Tests In MI

There's Hockey tomorrow but I'm not going.Who's going to revise for Common Tests if I'm out playing(or not)?Tsk.

Its Common Tests next week.
Monday-MOB and GP
Tuesday-Geography(FULL PAPER!)
Wednesday-Literature
A sum of $100,000 for whoever who guesses my preparedness level.
Anyone?
No?
Fine.

Cant wait to get CTs over with.Though part of me wants to slack cos 'its only CTs',part of me really wants to do well and score.I think I've yet to find the drive.Still playful and the best part is,I know I'm suppose to be studying but yet I'm not doing anything about it.Stupid ah?

Need to plan some activities with Vasellia and Jerrold to de-stress after CTs.See see,not yet started on revision for CTs but talking about plans to enjoy.There,that's my problem!

Go study la!

2010-02-15T17:49:00.002+08:00

Make Me A Sundae,Fat Free Please.

How I envy thee who has him,her and they
How I envy thee who has curfew
How I envy thee who has to ask for permission
How I envy thee.

I think I hate you.
I really think I do.
I cant love you.
I cant even try.
I don't want to try.
I've given up.
I'll just fulfill my obligations.
That's all I can ever do.

I'm sorry.

Sorry that I think I hate you.
Sorry that I really think I do.
Sorry that I cant love you.
Sorry that I cant even try.
Sorry that I don't want to try.
Sorry that I've given up.
Sorry that I'll just fulfill my obligations.
Sorry that that's all I can ever do.

2010-02-15T00:41:00.002+08:00

Happy Jar

Have you been to BottleTree park at Khatib?My first time there yesterday.Its actually a very nice place.Cooling and does not smell of prawns.Must look around more.

Though it was only for a while,I had a great time.Parker pen and bangla trivia/fun facts were awesome.Who knew they liked to sit in the middle of fields rite.

Somebody*ahem ahem* asked me 'how come Chinese people eat in MacDonalds on Lunar New Year.They don't have family gatherings ah?'How am I suppose to answer this?The best part is that somebody also came up with an answer to that question-'I think maybe pork out of stock'.Racist.Haha.By the way,so sorry I was late.The lack of bus drivers on CNY is so annoying.Buses take forever to come.

Now back to reality and that means COMMON TESTS.Must be self disciplined.Must.

2010-02-12T21:13:00.004+08:00

Panadol FluMax Non Drowsy

This sucks.Falling sick on a long weekend is such a turn-off.Lucky Panadol FluMax and Vitamin C tablets are helping me get back to full form.Gave school and hockey a miss today.I don't want to die out of exhaustion or short of breathe(thanks to my phlegm).'its probably due to lack of sleep'said Mr Idris,'its probably lack of life'I say.

Oh thanks guys,had lots of fun today.

1 more week till Common Tests.Enough said.The worst thing that could happen is feeling scared and doing nothing about it.

On a happier note,something caught my eyes as I was surfing the net.You know my girlfriend Emma Watson(yea,we go long way back),she models!Woah,she's smoking.

Ok,you can stop drooling now.

Gong Xi Fa Cai and Happy Valentine's Day everyone.Be safe.

2010-02-09T20:46:00.003+08:00

Low Salt, Hi Fibre

You have absolutely no idea how much I want it.I want it so bad it makes me want to cry most of the time.Tsk,I'm just so sick of it all.Why is it so hard for me to achieve it?WHY?Its just so bloody frustrating you know!

I sometimes really pity myself when I've to come up with points for the various subjects I take in school.Like today,when I was struggling to come up with points for my stupid GP timed assignment,I was thinking 'wouldn't it be nice if there were points available on the Internet?'.Ok fine,if not points at least some guidelines would get the brain juices flowing rite?So I was thinking if I should post some of the points I have for subjects such as GP here.But mind you,I suck.So to save all others from failing,I'll only post them once they are graded ok?(and only if I find them satisfactory)

3 more days till the extended weekend,6 more days till Valentine's day and 12 more days till Common Tests.Sheesh and my level of preparedness is zero!Cannot!I need to be 'sufficiently prepared'.I made a promise to someone.

2010-02-05T12:00:00.004+08:00

I Am A Seaweed Addict

I'm glad we're talking now.I hate it when I cant stay angry with you for long and I hate it more when we fight.Well now that that's over,time to start mugging for Common Tests.Yay!(Tsk)

I just realised my Literature is HORRIBLE.No,actually I realised it since year 1 but I've been in denial.I got A1 for Lit in O levels you know and now I'm barely passing.Annoying and scary to think about how much I need to improve in such a short period of time.MOB's being a bitch now with all the excruciating amount of numbers involved.Geography's fine but I'm still scared for it.I've never been confident of myself in anything,especially studies.*massiveblightedsigh*

I've got hockey later at 6pm,friendly against SAJC.Should be fun(or not).I hope coach puts me in defense and not just throw me around anyhow.But then again,its not much of a difference is it?

Don't watch The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus.Wait for the DVD release or something.Caught it with JM yesterday and its not worth it.

Happy Weekends everyone.

2010-02-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

Help,I'm Going Insane!

Look,I'm not the most perfect person in the world.I cant be always generous,I cant be always forgiving,I cant be always smiling.I cant.I'm only human.

I think I'm going insane cos of my mental health.The things that creep into my mind seriously scares me sometimes.But I have no control over it.It inevitably affects my mood,thinking,feelings and relations with others.Especially you.Yes you!

Just leave me alone for a while can?Especially during MOB lessons.Its largely me.I'm going insane.Its sad how I can tell others(close ones) how I feel and why I'm such a way but not to you.Maybe I should explain,but maybe I don't want to explain.Enough said.

Hockey A Division tournament is starting on 1st March and that's like less than a month away.Unless God comes down and drown me in liquid luck or something,that is such a short time for me to become zero to hero in Hockey.But I'm trying,I really am.Its my last A Divs anyway so...

Eh Idiot,I seriously think YOU NEED HELP.I mean like WTF is going on up there?The way you think is fucked up.Grow up la and stop being a pest.Tsk,if only I knew about your nonsense earlier,I'd have used my hockey stick to give your face a makeover.NOW STOP IT AH,I MEAN IT!ONE MORE TIME, YOU'LL GET IT FOR SURE!

Pass me IMH's number.

2010-01-30T21:50:00.004+08:00

Paparazzi

Lunch with Nnesah at Marina Square's Seoul Garden was fantastic(as though Masala Hut on Thursday wasn't enough)! It was our first time there.The place is kind of nice but the variety for some strange reason seemed little in comparison to other outlets.And we ended the evening by the esplanade riverside(and Yishun mrt station).

Now that the fun part was over,its back to school and accumulated(more like accumulating) assignments and tutorials.BOOHOO!

But seriously,I need to get my head in the game.I cant be procrastinating.Its my freaking future we're talking about here.I don't want to regret this.I'm fucking scared for my A Levels and the best part is I know what I should be doing but I cant seem to start doing it!

PROCRASTINATION IS LIKE MASTURBATION.YOU KEEP DOING IT UNTIL YOU REALISE YOU'VE FUCKED YOURSELF.(so true)

Desperately seeking motivation.

2010-01-29T21:17:00.003+08:00

Nude No More

Did I tell you about the threadless tees some of my friends and I ordered?

Huh,no?!(sorry abit forgetful)

There's this awesome website called threadless(facebook also have).The designs are really cool and fresh and the best part was they were all ON SALE!So I roped in some friends and we ordered some tee.It was my first time making an online purchase.I was uber excited.Yep,the tees are here and it was so nice collecting the package from the delivery man and signing the collection slip(come on its my first time receiving something delivered to me).

I HATE MY EFFIING BROTHER.He is such a freaking waste of space on Earth.I honestly cant stand him and I don't want to give a hoot about him.So many times I've felt like shaking the life out of him but I cant cos I don want to end up in jail.And to top it all off,the people at home are making me attend his meet-the-parent session tomorrow in his school.Like what the eff eww see kay!

"You need to get involved in his life Jahafar.He is your brother."(yea right!)

Did I ask for a devil as my brother?In fact, I didn't even ask for a brother(I'd be so happy to be the only child) and its meet-the-parent session not meet-the-sibling!And that little weasel is creating a scene right now in the hall so that I'll get angry and tell that I'm not going to come tomorrow.Hah,never idiot!I'm so going to tell your teacher all the mayhem you create at home and ask if they can send you to Alaska or something to study!

Its the full moon today and I'm waiting for my super power to arrive.It should be anytime now...

or now...

or now...

Annoyed and aching.

2010-01-28T19:08:00.003+08:00

Is Masala Hut the Indian version of Pizza Hut?

Yes,that's the brilliant question Jerrold asked me yesterday.NO,its isn't dude!

Today was suppose to be a great feasting day with friends but noooo...somethings had to creep up and spoil it all!

Jerrold developed an impromptu high fever after witnessing the breakdown of an authoritative figure up close and personal.

Siva had to go chase around a white and black ball with his other 10 plus friends.

Andrea had to suddenly be broke and all responsible towards GP.

Thus, we decided to postpone our outing.But Vasellia and I were hungry(we didn't eat anything except Andrea's nuggets)!

So we both decided to go tantalise our taste buds in Masala Hut.The food was really nice and we had so much fun talking.Its funny considering how we see each other for 5 days a week but still have so much to talk about(we're AWESOME what!).

Then we raised our chances of getting diabetes by indulging in some Indian sweets(athirasam and gulab jaamun).

Food is just so good ah,makes you all comfortable and happy(and fat!).

TGIF tomorrow.

2010-01-24T15:49:00.003+08:00

Untangling Needed.

Yesterday was a FAILURE.Fail!And I must have sounded like some retarded freak.Oh man...

But I guess its alright.Its not that easy to surprise someone is it.Especially if that someone is super busy.

Hope you like it.

Another weekend soon to pass.Great,just great!

Monday mornings are now for hockey fitness training.Amazing isn't it!Do you know how excited I am for it!Yea,me neither.Urgh.

Annoyed.

2010-01-23T09:46:00.003+08:00

19 Candles

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NNESAH...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

To my favourite nurse(soon to be),wishing you the most amazing-est 19Th.Have lots of fun(not like you are not doing so currently) and like everybody else,I'm going to say 'Enjoy your last year of being a Teen'.

Oh by the way,I wonder how the world survived with your existence for 19 years!Surely there's got to be a rise in noise pollution rite!Haha.

Its the weekend again but I don't feel good psychically and mentally.Well body wise I'm just having a slight fever(hoping it'll pass soon) and mentally I just have this sucky feeling realising how fast time flies.It's already the 2ND weekend and I don't think I've got the correct attitude to survive this year and take my A levels without regrets.

Things DEFINITELY have to change.Fast.

Now, go study people!

2010-01-20T12:33:00.003+08:00

This is fun

Ok this is so funny that I have to say this right now!

Vase:jahafar,look I bought you from the cafe*points at a chocolate muffin*
Me:ooo I look tasty.
vase:yea sure,I'm going to eat you now*takes a bite off the muffin*
Me:*screams*
Vase:*jumps and chokes on the muffin abit*what happened!!
Me:ouch!why did you bite me?!

And we both started laughing.Hilarious.Did I tell you how much I love my friends?
Of course right!

It's already midweek and the workload is piling and to make things worse,I'm coughing and sneezing away.Just waiting for Mr Fever to arrive.Tsk.

Oh by the way,this post is special cos it's done via my itouch.Yay!

Till the weekends.

2010-01-15T22:12:00.003+08:00

Do you know the difference between transpiration and evapotranspiration?

Boy am I glad its finally Friday.

Its barely been a week and I feel as though I've been in school for months.Its foreshadowing the stressful times awaiting us I suppose.Mondays and Tuesdays are heavy(we call them A level days),Wednesdays are fine(PE in the morning and Hockey in the afternoon is going to be so 'shiok'!),Thursdays are FANTASTIC and Fridays are ok.

I'm aching ALL OVER!10 rounds,pull ups,push ups and sit ups during PE on Wednesday morning,1 round,2hrs of hockey on Wednesday afternoon,6 rounds,pull ups,push ups and sit ups this morning and 6 rounds and 2hrs of Hockey this afternoon have totally shagged me.I'm so freaking tired.My legs hurt so bad I can even sit properly.This is what happens if your fitness sucks.

I cant believe he said such a thing!In front of everyone some more!And i stood there like an idiot,nodding my head.Ok fine,he had a valid point but cant he discuss it privately?!Fuck la.I feel so down.

I need this weekend to recharge(and catch up on the assignments and complete them).

Oh oh,there's something I want to say here but I cant(don't want) cos you know how you tell everyone about something and it doesn't materialise?Yea,i don't want that.So I'll blog about it when its nearer.I'm excited much!

Take care.

2010-01-14T18:44:00.005+08:00

Ni Hao Ma?

I think Thursdays are going to be my favourite weekday this year.Why?Cos school ends at 2.05pm.Yes 2 freaking 05!And,there are only GP and Lit for the day,2 of the more interesting subjects.Awesome or awesome tell me?

Ok so there's this Conversational Mandarin/Malay course(I know,racist right!) my school has organised for 8 weeks till the release of MT results.All Malays and Indians are to attend the chinese course while the Chinese must attend Malay.Today was the first lesson and it was uber fun(ny)!With Vase and Siva (and Andrea next week) what can you expect!

Teacher:What your name?
Vase:Vasellia
Teacher:Rexsellia ni hao ma?
Vase:(laughing)yes yes..oh oh..wo hao..wo hao.

Oh man,hilarious!Cant wait for subsequent lessons.

All the teachers started off their lessons with words of caution regarding the A Level examinations(what's new right?) and it really got me worried.I started thinking of the worst case scenarios and kind of freaked out.But no point worrying right.Just have to move forward and face it with as much confidence and positivity as possible.

Hooray its Friday tomorrow.Cant wait for the weekends.Oh and Happy Pongal to all celebrating.